David & the Goliath

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
- Proverbs 13:12

yep.. & trying hard to visualise that to materialise... in the sea of blue, green, brown & blond..
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have been having sleepless nights. (my eyes are tired, my body  too, but just couldn't get to sleep..) Last nite, was supposed to be waiting for a call, yet that never got through.. (not the first time anyway, perhaps it ain't important or the subject ain't important.. or... whatever).

Felt wronged. hey, it takes two hands to clap. You said you were hurt by words and actions. Have you place yourself in the other person's perspective to consider why when things happen, you aren't the first to be contacted/confided in? Oh yes, the little things add up.. well started with the diminishing of communication in the inital-still-alright-stage (but sometimes, you just don't reply.. that felt sorta shut from your life.. hey when things happen in ur life, u didn't come to me too) before THAT hit.. which proceed to minute incidents such as subtle distrust (imagine someone said something abt your buddy and yet you confirm the facts with not the buddy, but a third party.. and you learnt it from a third party... does it feel good?).. the lack of support when you sense that the buddy needs but did not voice out due to the inherent nature... ( cuz you thought that the best way out is to let the buddy cool off... Man, who in the right frame of mind will love reliving the pain over and over again... and telling everybody?) When care and concern is required, where are you? Sigh, my take- fight or flight. Since I don't wish to fight, I chose the latter..  you felt hurt and .. oh yeah, as if I'm gleeming with joy... oh well... I'm speechless... And perhaps, you think & feel you are the victim here... Alright, using a fave catchphrase of a friend "Say what what.." Oh well, thanks for making me the baddie here..

Say what what. Tired of the finger-pointing... though i never voiced this out to anyone.. (alright, unless to the invisible man reading this blog?) perhaps a complete cold turkey would be the BEST (i.e. me not ard) perhaps, the most logical direction is me dissipating..the Goliath seems to have grown and I'm just left with one stone and sling.. and lack the faith to pull that shot..

my simple prayer request.. please.. I just want to move on...  new ground please?