facade... does it matters?

fa·cade /fəˈsɑd, fæ-/ –noun
1. Architecture.
a. the front of a building, esp. an imposing or decorative one.
b.any side of a building facing a public way or space and finished accordingly.
2. a superficial appearance or illusion of something: They managed somehow to maintain a facade of wealth.

the mere existence of this little site in the virtual world - does it falls within this definition? I like the sound of this word - rather atas - as it has this french element in it...

Three words... powerful words that will either result in action or nothing... "Does it matter?"

Conversation I had with someone this evening triggered this thought.. If something really does not matter to a person, would it be the sole reason why one will pick up the phone and harp about it? Your verbal response may be "It doesn't matter..." But really? facade in making..

strange thought that why i bother to update the blog... does it matters? to some.. a blog tells the whole wide world - family/friends/foes/strangers your day to day encounters - AKA a 2D virtual reality show in play. some "Decorated" their lil dot on the virtual map with pictures of themselves, some used it as a mean to vent their frustrations, their two-cent worth on issues that irk them : be it the horde of well dressed execs that choked up the escalator (despite the conspicuous "please keep left" sign) when you are late, the cab driver that took you a "tour" round that industrial estate at the expense of your time & money.. to some government policies/ views that you just can't see eye to eye to. Some used it as a mean to update their friends how things were. .. and so on...*non-exhaustive list* (though bear in mind.. be responsible in your words...)

sounds like a GP topic...

me? i find this rather "ego" feeding at times... well.. i miss the good old journal.. the PAPER kind.. yet.. felt encouraged when some are encouraged by what i wrote... naked & vulnerable if too much are revealed... does it matters if this continue or simply terminated? I don't know...

does it matter at all? actually, you have the answer within... Question: are you passionate about it?

gee... paradoxical.

the mundane boring monday...

the miss forgetful left BOTH her handphones @ home again!

with still quite a number of days of VL in hand.. she decided to take a half day leave today... :)
cuz.. kinda SLOW @ work - the information requested not IN.. and nothing much to follow up with @ the moment...

:) happy day! * maybe pop by ikea later..

the unexpected unplanned nite out...

well.. never intended to catch ratatouille again, but but ys suggested it.. and haha i really wanna watch it again - but i would prefer hairspray but well.. go with the majority...

dinner was @ the bedok nth 85 market.. okie.. it was a great beginning for the grp as seldom such a large grp goes for dinner... and ya.. plans after dinner/supper includes the ratatouille movie..

well.. well.. i should say with ted & ys ard.. it's rather FUN.. oh well.. i guess the 4 of us : joyce, ted, ys & i were the more noisy and silly ones.. well. else nite will be looong (see we have 2hrs to spare after dinner.. so we went to the games arcade (???) then starbucks.. and to me ..though rather "crappy".. hey revelations too... well.. the principle of the "last shall be the first" should be clearly illustrated in the match between joyce & ted vs ys & me.. haha.. ys & i was lacking behind initally.. but we ended winning 11 to 10 ! heehee..

2nd lesson: the story of the ant(s) & the clipped finger/toe nail remains (i wonder how the nail bit ended up in starbucks.. the TM branch.. OMG.. someone CUT his/her nails @ the cafe? eeeeeeeeeeeeeks!) okie.. we were sitting in this corner (the interior) when yours truly spotted this ant crawling up and down the wall behind ted.. suddenly one became two.. and .. more.. then.. lo & behold, i spotted this nail piece moving up the wall.. wA.. these two rather long black ants were moving the piece of nail up the wall (wa.. true althletes! akin to human's sport - rock climbing...) trying really hard.. and when they were struggling, more ants assisted them.. and there was also an ant leading the way (like the commander in charge...) and truly, it was BY group effort that they managed to move that piece of nail up the wall.. ard 2 metres high.. strangely... this reminded me of the verse

"And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecclesiates 4:12 (the Amplified Bible)

One ant alone cannot move the fingernail up... so two managed to move it halfway up.. however to go further up (the gravitational pull is greater hence greater strength required) the two can't do it alone.. this is where the power/strength of teamwork come into play... if some of the ants decided to head east , some west, some south, some north.. they would be moving on spot only... the synergy of a team when all are going in same direction and towards the same goal...

Isn't this true in life? I believe that to get to the other higher ground, all in the group have to the same vision, same direction and be willing to chip in whatever effort they could afford...most importantly, be willing to take action... if one decided to do his own thing.. the group will be weaken... you are as strong as your weakest link!

hmmm... :)

amazingly how God worked...

well.. well.. ought to zzzz.. singing later... :) but was glad that i joined them tonight and truly i can see that this group is heading towards somewhere... :) and ya.. i know the best has yet to come.. (regarding.. hmm.. keke)

881

I think i must be "kan-tang" person.. (Jagabee!!) Accompanied my mom to watch the ge-tai movie... Was rather expectant bUT to great disappointment.. spent more than half the time reading the subtitles (alternating between English & Chinese) cuz I don't comprehend the language- oh yes.. i'm born and bred here.. just that i don't speak the dialect.. Okie.. thumbs up for the protrayal of the RICH Asian/ s'porean culture of "staged performance for the annual event of the nether world.." in the movie.. Interesting and colorful costume design.. that aside.. the jokes that the audience laughed their head off.. I was puzzled.. what that made the movie bearable.. the hunky male lead.. :) eye candy..

Would treat myself to "hairspray" - not the styling prdt, but the retro-theme movie.. Or to watch Ratatouille again.. it's such a funny & heart-warming treat!!

missing..

some are missing.. some i used to rather close to suddenly become uncontactable.. some faded away... some just disappeared... the LEAST expected...

phantom of the human mind... ability to be influenced and be stuck in rout that it has self-created...

i don't want to follow suit... it's just a thin line...

Jagabee

happy food... happy comfort food.. bought this meiji potato snack cuz thought it was cute * and it's potato.. - best comfort food next to dark chocs.. * guess what, jajgabee* even have a blog & webpage of its own.. *sad, my understanding of jap language is very limited... so take quite sometime to understand very little portion of the webpage.. :(

there is even a podcast! called*Jagabee Musicfarm Potatocast" at its happie song website! Perhaps i would subscribe to it tonite... haha..

jagabee.. jagabee...

it's friday.. :) happy day... bought a tintin book @ page1 earlier.. *adventures of tintin.. my fave comic since young but i adore the silly snowy.. *

catching the 881 later..

jagabee!!

missing

i think i misplaced my make-up pouch last saturday(not sure how BUT i thought i put in back into my bag after touching up after soundcheck, someone skim it from my bag while i was not ard?* my bag's zipper was faulty..maybe someone "ninja" it.. OR ??).... SAD.. cuz the contents are rather pricey.. my two pots of Stila eye shimmer.. my new Stila blusher.. my Stila lip glaze,, my almost new OPI new balm... my eye primer.. what else.. reckon $200? :(

hence.. having NOT much of a choice.. i made a trip to my fave make-up counter @ Tangs Orchard.. and spent quite a lot.. *happy though.. cuz the amount i spent entitled me to a lovely girly Stila Tote & makeup pouch & a lovely eyeshadow/lip/cheek platte. *okie, i've the choice to purchase the more economical brands found in pharmacy... but hmm.. it's worth it!** anyway.. there's the 12% rebate.. well.. sad that some of the stuff i wanna to get was *out of stock*.. :(

blessed..

ruth's member drove us to expo this evening... (cuz he happened to be @ sentosa for biz stuff) so blessed need not brave the rush crowd to pm (and enjoyed dinner @ macau express)!

was "ferried" home by "grace" tonite... was rather surprised that ys called and asked if i wanted a lift home - i was just walkin into the carpark (eh.. not really along his journey though, extra mile!). God heard my little good to have wish of getting home without having to take the bus ride.. so "grace"- the GPS directed the way home... :)

to do OR not to do?

last saturday.. I reluctantly stood there.. I know HE was the least pleased with my physical protrayal of "I'm perfectly fine with that" yet the inner me was crying out "I hate it here".. For once.. smiling during pnw WAS a falsified one... repent.. repent..soon (yet not too soon actually) the whining me began to cease and yes.. flashbacks.. right from the start.. this dissatisfaction started to arise... 6 years... to continue marching on spot or move forward... what ryan spoke to me two months ago came back to play... AND it couldn't be just pure coincidence that the message that Dr Joyce Meyer gave was "seizing the moment"... it was God.. made a decision to obey that Voice within..



Today.. I have a prior engagement that was made weeks ago after much efforts to find a day that all can make it - the celebration dinner for the basketball tournament (one of the gal team clinched the second placing.. so the prize money was decided on dinner for all).. yet.. chose not to.. cuz important pm that arose last weekend.. Glad that i made the right choice..

and oso decided not to sing - somehow i felt that i need to be around.. And ya, i realised why.. cuz something happened to pl's bro, hence couldn't be ard.. and ya.. now the cg is like 3 into 1.. AND yes... I feel genuinely happy to have done what I'd done tonight... i felt God smiling at me that the princess has finally awoke...The trade off between wine&merry vs this (plus the timely word from Dr Joshua Hong & the fresh touch...) the latter choice anytime... :)


pondering.. don't want to make a hasty decision... it's not easy to make..


LAst nite, while waiting for bus home@ the compass point busstop.. was listening to 33, from Corrinne May's new album.. was rather overwhelmed.. especially touched by the lyrics.. (hopefully the other commuters waiting for bus din notice the streaming tears..) Nah, not 33 yet.. yet at the age of 33, what would i have done for He who died for me @ 33??

Suddenly, the events of the past has just became clear so clear.. why the delay of 7 years [from 14yrs-when i flipped the small green book and made the most important prayer in my life in my bedroom in bedok nth to 21 yrs: where i found home..:)]... why the delay of yet another 3 years (like the potter and clay= period of molding, shaping. firing, on the shelf...etc) :)

The August so far..

It has been nearly 2 months as a keppelite (that's what the company calls us..) Hmm really gotta thank God for this job .. Cuz great & helpful colleagues.. Fellow harvesters (ruth & a choir member-jeremy is temp-ing here a while before ns, leaving soon though) within.. Despite @ entry level (cuz I've zitch corp tax experience) still didn’t take pay cut.. :) Wa.. Hallelujah!

Weddings..
Been to a no. of weddings this year.. And was part of the bridal entourage of two dear friends ... (incidentally, they are those who (a) intro me to my Creator (in sec 2!) - Sandi & (b) brought me to the house of God where I called home - HuiMing)

Weddings are fun.. despite helping out... :) Especially enjoyed myself @ Sandi's, despite having to miss a day of FOP.. But was glad to be able to help out in her big day though..

I supposed this was one of the rare church wedding attended that I experienced the strong presence of God. Truly, I can see God's hand upon Sandi & Keng Cher's (the hubby) family.. God's words never return to Him void. Truly, when one in the household is saved, all will be saved. I was surprised to see Jean Sen - Sandi's cousin - the handsome-wang jie lookalike senior from DHS serving God as a worship leader in Wesley -*that's when i first met Jesus ... :).- and he used to be a stuanch buddhist and ya.. even went on *retreat* in tibet, india..
And the couple also testified of God's goodness in their relationship.. Wa.. (I like!!) and presented a song item ("Turn your eyes upon Jesus") that really brought down God's presence!

The couple also went thru' great extent to express their gratitude and their love towards God.. From the "Thank you" speeches to wedding tokens! Yup.. My dear friend actually got the gold coins chocs that resemble the amercian's coins from candy empire- cuz of the wording " In God we trust." that was embossed on the choc.

* Another fun thing was that I get to meet up with my DHS classmates which I haven't meet for a decade. - some of my rather good pals in sec sch days... interestingly.. quite a no. of them shares the same faith too... And one of the guys too - cuz he wearing a cross ma.. but he goes ncc.. And.. wa .. very interesting array of professions.. hmm high flyers in the civil service, architect, engineers, teachers, lecturer, lawyers, and ya financial advisors (which incidentally all from pru -thank goodness that i'm out.. no offense to the fa friends.. it's just not me.. hehe)

Needless to say.. Most could not recognise me.. The usual comment was.. Wa..u look different.. Prettier now.. Hahaha.. Yingying couldn't recognise me at all! She sat next to me during the matrimony and didn't realised it until I greeted her after the service * she gave me the blank look.. And shuhui too.. she said she didn't realised it was me till - she heard my voice.. (ya.. the sure giveaway...) Not to mention the guys lo..haha.. Fun..

Hmm well..different.. Okie.. One thing for sure, length of hair.. Cuz my hair used to be waist long and I always tied to a pony tail.. And ya.. Used to be 60+kg.. Wooooooooooo!

But it's more than the shedding of the few kilos.. It's God la.. The presence of God in me lo… keke..

God is REAL
Last week during cg, I was rather down.. cuz of a conversation just before the cg commenced... And during pnw.. Was sorta whining to God abt what someone had said to me… And God actually used Priscilla to encourage me .. He gave her a vision of how she first came to S'pore.. And how I followed up with her that really touched her.. Wa.. :) God's timing - best timing.

This week
Tuesday was FUN.. Was effectively working only HALF a day.. Second half of the day was spent travelling to a seminar @ Park Royal Hotel.. Then evening went to the dinner event (the closing dinner to the Financial Managers Conference) @ the REFLECTIONS.. Wa. The showflat for the penthouse suite really blew my mind - apparently that unit we saw was worth S$9MM.. hmm great sea view.. i love the balcony & the master bedroom.. woo...

And ya.. The whole department went, so it's like a department outing.. Actually my department rather fun.. And my SM (whom they called him "chief editor"- in chinese) was not as straight faced as I imagined him to be. He was the one who interviewed me.. to whom i spoke in tongues.. haha... hmm so despite boss' aim for us to attend the dinner is to network (cuz quite a no. of FM from different biz units were there).. it was fun.. :)

tasty...haha

Had been drinking two sachets of this so far since last nite.. State of my nose progressed from blocked state to running state during choir prac.. Now back to a semi-blocked and running state. Hmmm perhaps I should have go home and rest last night [like what someone did - need to go home to rest as still recovering from cold (but can go to work)]. Eh, but that's so unlike moi.. haha...i resolved to finish off the spirit of "nua-ness".

I refuse to go to doc again....

before the lights are out..

to end the day on a positive note:

God never fails... He is with us forever, if only you extend your arms...

I love the new worship song... touches me a great deal.. even the very 1st time we learnt it last wed.. gotta hold back the tears lo..

the weekend session with Dr AR Benard just made me wanna draw more into His Word cuz it was revelational.. and like how he ended off, was truly educated, empowered and equipped... too bad wasn't able to make it to the nite event cuz... cUZ .. ok it's over..

to cheer myself.. i bought me Corrinne May's new album... :) gonna listen to it now.. yep.. I'm His beautiful seed.. :)

actions+words+actions+ words = trust misappropriated

ten days since i last dropped a post here... there are moments that I almost wanted to lash out in vivid details ... but I chose not to.. but perhaps now in the parable form

well.. in short time span of ONE month++... the words/actions from the same source really mulitiplied the negative vibes of whom i regarded as a better friend?....it will take time to establish that level of trust again... perhaps it was a blind spot... or perhaps it was the added load... but still... the trust is lost.. yep, over nite... cuz it's just not easy to reconcile on the facts... it's IRONICAL.

Layering on the actions is words: the recent words spoken HURT and seemed to suggest the fact that i'm getting it all wrong and somehow the fault lies with me and me alone (perhaps you were right to a certain extent but SANDWICHing your words will do the job nicely... and as a friend, if you know of something that will help, why not say it out, instead of beating around the bush and gave the political right advice which I already know... wonder did u defend me? or just let it be?)

i wonder how long it will take for me to reestablish that trust again...
forgive and forget... forgave on the fact that you are human, forgetting the acts/words/feeling is NOT easy... I guess behaving friendly (genuinely) will require some time/struggle from within... time be the healing factor...

Lord, I need your grace to look beyond that...

the VERY large picture...

hey.. I ought to be sleeping.. but just finished the special item thingy (requested by the bride-to-be @ the eleventh hour...) well.. seemed that always no sleep prior to being the bride's entourage hmmm... or perhaps the creative flows just cOme @ the most desperate moments...

hmm FOP.. first nite... let's just say i wasn't that joyful due to some turns of events.. which i don't understand why to head to that direction when it's gone.. yet there are some more up for grabs ard if i go.. BEWILDERED...
learnt a lesson on the a l and the p l. a parable.. good thing i met mel up (stuck in traffic jam for 20min after waiting 30min for cab @ harbourfront) and her cgl... and got rather good seats... and yes people are still holding seats for the unseen who were on the way... hmm the al and pl.. a difference..

well... that soon was settled... to cut the story short... i regret that i would have to miss sat's cuz... will miss the Word.. Kinda great coincidence that a portion... the Pst Phil's podcast that i was listening this morning was reiterated in the nite sesssion... and it's not new.. but another deeper revelation.. had a fresh vision... A very challenging one.. yet if i still can't overcome the lil one right before my eye... how could the challenging one come to pass?

was @ my xanga last nite.. i realised the very same task was placed before me last year .. yet i freaked out and faded out.. cuz.. out of steam... No wonder... this time rd.. it's now or.. ya.. now...

I love His presence..

gotta sleep... it's a long day ahead... 630am gotta reach marine parade... the whole thing ending @ ard 1030.. someone suggested to head to zouk after that... cuz it's near the dinner place... I think i'll party @ the wild wild east instead ... ie. my bed zzzzz

let me grab that one hour of REST....

the latest pink acquisition

Can't resist the sweet pastel pink wrap thingy i saw on the Apple Store (online).. okie.. i know you can get cheaper ones @ Funan.. but hey.. this is PINK! well.. i lost my previous purple one... and this one came with matching earpiece cover... :)

so.. paid $22 for this.. yeah.. waiting to receive it by post latest by this Friday! yay! (: