Crimson affair aside, it was a great weekend.. Cg outing on Saturday.. [For the very first time in 2008, I enjoyed & looked forward to cg outing.. Alright, it's with my new cg.] Not really new to all though... think I know 70% of them. Am in the process of getting know the rest .. :)
Sunday morning was the usual porridge day.. Had been patronising this stall @ Chinatown Food Centre since as far as my memory can recollect (cuz my granddad - who passed away before I was even born) used to be selling flowers next to this porridge stall way way before my era.. so ya, my mom grew up eating their porridge, so ya, me too.. :) And ya, think this stall won the top award for viewers choice of the best porridge for one of Channel U's foodie programme.. Hmmm used to love the pork porridge.. but ever since the recent healthy conversion, discovered that the fish porridge is actually tastier than the pork version which I had been eating for the past twenty plus years.. :) hmm and I love their 鱼生 too.. :)
Bumped into ivory's kai on the train after brekkie.. A coincidence indeed. [Though my flesh says.. siam.. alright, the mode which jadyn accurately pointed out still prevails - (the-i-wanna-siam-leaders-mode).] Hmmm get to know him a bitsy more.. (oh well.. cannot just sit there and stone rite? Afterall, he's ivory's kai and ya, now same cg - sorta.. cuz same cgl. :) so ya, making an effort to overcome the [hurting] wounds..
I thought I had gotten over the hurts/ disappointments already, after almost 7 months . Yet, it was during the new worship song on sunday whereby i was brought to realisation that another Goliath stood in the way - the disappointments towards.. sigh.. the ex-cg which I have sorta suppressed. Despite of how much I done (hmmm it's like past 2-3 years was of the no-time-for-yourself-kinda-life.. (hmm if u know what i mean, u will noe, if u don't, whatever...the pitfall- i neglect the fact to rest... ) and their overall sentiments i felt towards my sudden disappearing act - was the alternative title of that green day song "time of my life". (save for maybe a few.. like the "sweet" one who actually bought me a "farewell" gift ~ despite my silent departure.. and yes, his words of encouragement.. which ya, I do appreciate.. )He asked me... at then end of the day, who & why are you doing these for? the members? the leaders? Actually, it's for Me. I was T_T" . I know.. but the human ego wants to be fed, yet not. And my blatant refusal to rest (the initial reason for the "retirement") led to yes, current state. Sigh.. yet, those who are in resting mode, when given the opportunity to do more, dodges. T_T". Was actually quite surprised that I sorta shared with weiling the reason why I went over to her side. Okie, not the Goliath story la.. but ya, the main gist that seemed comprehensible & reasonable to most. And oh yes, starting to click with her.. :)
And the service was :). Almost did not want to respond - the face issue, was sitting with the choir peeps (despite I was like a hand throw away from the stage.. but decided to after it was like almost the end.. yesh, i'm like a mule at times). I realised that.. the dream is still alive .. (yay.. the wilson phillips odie song that i like.. T_T"), just that i chose to chunk it aside of the derailing.. (the self-inflicted consequences..) But at least, now i can see the light at the end of the dark tunnel which I was trapped for the past 7 months of 2008. At the very least, I am starting to pick up the pieces where I'd left behind.. and walk again.. (before picking up the pace to run again... )
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