The heart vs the mind

What do you do when the heart wanna proceed but the mind refuses to.. bombarding with excuses after excuses? I know what ought to be done, but the mind is refusing the process that... and churn out loads of excuses ... "it's not for me yet.." the very familar .. if not now, when... returns to plague me..

And I was rather disturbed by the constant "chanting" next to me while pastor was preaching.. cuz someone within my audible "radar" was repeating the verse that pastor just read aloud.. and that can be very irritating.. when you are trying to concentrate.. oh yeah. the red hornie really knew what can irritate me..

And yes, I am so not ready .. afterall, been through the boughs of thankless stuff and being usually taken for granted - cuz of the self-"volunteerism" of acts of service.. Okie.. unbalanced until Steven shared something that his boss shared with him this morning. Don't expect to be appreciated when you are serving.(somewhere along that line) - hit the homerun. Alright, human ego needs to be fed but you can't stay forever sweet 16, expecting to be spoonfed 24/7.  okie, the carnal immediately flash out creditor of all when the word "debtor" arise - told u the red hornie is @ work..

Yet the familiar verses that came @ the end finally end the stronghold within - "if you love me, .... " Alright, the flesh loses... it gotta dislodge from the comfortable, warm and cosy house... all comfortable, ready for sleep.. time to get your hands dirty... *repented*

Okie, I'm only human... and yeah, there's no forever open window period... missed the kairos time again and again...

And hence while the others crowd around that car earlier, I flashed out my phone and fiddled with it. Cuz of.. * sigh.. at least a conversation with a friend earlier in the day came to play... indeed our verdict on us.. 好人, 好忍, 好惹.  Acting nonchalant is the best display of emotions I can give still..  I guess all things arises from the human pride.. "admittance" rather than "coverage" hence, choosing the former result in me "looking you no up".  this will take me time to reconcile completely.  I just hope that I need not act later.. lol

In short, avoid till I can see thru it phyiscally...

In 5 hours time, i need to head for joyce's le. Congrats my dear friend.. even though u are already mrs chan, legally and spiritually...time to wash off the hydrating mask..

And horrors of horrors.. the list was actually chosen by pst himseld, as disclosed by the "fruitstall 2" owner. :)