tasks..

there are quite a number of things I ought to do.. just pondering on which to start with... pray..

it has been an eventful last week.. (delivered..the fast... the deliverances done... the counselling given to one whom i need to talk to.. )
this week gonna be better...

really can't do it by myself...

sometimes u really wished that you have an extra pair of hands... to be exact, to replicate yourself so that more can be done within same amount of time.. yet.. there are things that cannot be delegated.. (or no one suitable to delegate..) .. need to ask Him... yep..

be not a man pleaser.. but God pleaser. I reckon that there are things done that some might not like..

yep.. if God believes that I could do it.. yep, i could..

oh.. mrs buttercup.. happy birthday!!! :)

the lazy sunday mOrning..

or.. that's what my flesh wished it was.. woke up @ 715 (without alarm).. tried to drag myself off my bed... not easy.. decided to laze ard till 730.. (intention to wash up.. make-up.. take cab down...) Frankly.. the initial reaction was.. to sleep in and nua.. I wished i could.. yet i know i couldn't and don't want to.. [treasuring every oppty to serve la.. cuz.. don't know how many more times..]

was just doing my normal "energetic" mode (how i would usually be in the congregation..) this morning.. Priveileged to be in the front row.. Was kinda surprised that brother frankie called me after S2 and said he wanna tell me something. (ha.. i thot it'll be something to correct...) but it was a compliment.. Said that I looked very energetic just now.. and yeah.. keep it up! (ha.. considering this is without food.. )

deliverance session was tremendous.. (yet totally drained by the end) Prayed for lian and another sister... It was a tough,,, cuz some struggled.. wriggled away when i laid my hands on her.. yet.. all spirits have been casted out in Jesus name...

It was an amazing weekend service for me.. and haha.. didn't expect what steven prophesyed over my life came to pass so fast... (he was praying that I'll cast out denoms...~~ i was like huh? how could it be..) litle that I know this came to pass...

really... happy that I helped to delivered some... :)

I'm very tired now... drained.. just return not long ago from huling's birthday... happy bday gal...

I wanna sleep now... nitez,,

Reply?

yep.. i wonder if this the answer? went to NGO this morning.. hmm.. the feeling seemed right.. and saw quite a no. of choir gals there (they were like me.. the new friends) saw wendy, briyanni (eh.. not sure of the spelling..).. another gal that i dunno her name... hmm did the personality test.. no time for the prelim interview.. [ ha.. think I scored a lot on C.. that's what shuan (hope i didn't get the spelling wrong) said.. and.. some of them thought i was fresh grad.. [honored! Glory of God!]

frankly during the video bit on the father and son .. i really felt that He was telling me.. I will not be alone in the new journey path.. And.. really this job will fall nicely to sot next year..

got a call from pastor while at ngo.. hmm.. things to be done.. and really things to be done.. yes.. it can be done...

was early.. so went to coffeebean to read a bitsy Bible before sitting in for the makeup cg.. hmm was pondering abt this morning.. when flipped to Is43:18 & 19 sprang out.. v19 says..

'Behold, I will do a new thing, now it will spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in wilderness and rivers in the desert.'

hmm ..

the sermon evaluation after the make-up bs.. frankly.. very blessed to have informal mentors... brother alvin gave me some pointers and ya.. it was pretty hard to deliver the sermon to him.. yet.. took a step of faith (after like 30 secs of deliberation... ) but really thankful that he did this out of his own accord...

my very first attempt @ deliverance..
think in all prayed for 3-4 sisters.. And the first being the longest.. It was an eye opening experience for me.. esp for one of the sisters that I prayed for.. she was only in tears when i approached her... she kept screaming.. when i laid my hands on her.. think the spirit rather strong.. Thank God that sis eve came along... by the end of the whole session.. i was drained.. tired..

after the session, payed for kedy and huiling... it was tiring.. but good feeling... (though felt kinda dirty.. cuz of the spits.. think i kanna some..)

another session tmw.. exciting.. wonder still got stamina to give lian bs.
oh. it's 30th now! huiling happy 21st! :)

i lost 3!

yep.. decided to take the weighing test.. (hmm the weighing scale and i aren't the best of pals..) was wondering just 3 days of fasting.. yepyep.. no food.. just a couple of mango juice (why mango.. well.. orange is too acidic.. apple too diluted.. mango just the right consistency.. ) in these 3 days cuz in case blood sugar really dip.. ha.. so far so good.. no one can see though.. cuz i still go thru' the normal routine.. just that body temp towards the low side.. but otherwise.. going strong..

hmm.. back to what was lost.. yep.. it's the nos. off the scale.. not that I'm going on a diet.. though my insulated body could do with less padding.. the by product of fasting.. weight loss.. i lost 3 kg! (but don't think it's due to the fasting cuz usually i pick @ my food.. I guess it's the hustle and bustle for the past week..

happie.. saw jeanie just now.. wow.. so happy for her.. she's 4 months pregnant! :) yet still so slim.. and prettier.. :) hmmm wow.. I'm like with her for abt 3 years le ba.. (btw she's my stylist and ya, younger than me by 2 years..) hmmmm .. i think my hair disaster is well known there (the frissy half head that requires a second redo..).. haha.. think "jay chou" lookalike gonner.. never seen him ard.. too bad.. i hope not cuz of me..

think this sat would be very exciting.. cuz (a) gonna go to the entreprenur talk thingy.. which may be the door wide open.. (b) the 'evaluation" (c) the possibility of having to minister to my pple during the special ministry session (surprise too.. cuz that's what bro alvin asked me to be prepared for.. when i thot me no need cuz..) will play by ear (by His voice..)

now.. gotta go and have quality time.. with my Heavenly Father.. :)

p.s. never thought that pple would be inspired by the mundane activities of my life.. huiling was inspired by some of my posts? eh.. this just me.. and Praise the Lord if you are inspired.. let me know and i'll introduce u to Him face to face.. :)

Amazing..

Day 3 of inactive digestive enzyme movement.. By the grace of God.. going on strong... yeah.. walking past the tempting whiff of the deep fried fritters did pose as a distraction and lure to activate the enzymes.. but.. nah..

Woke up not that early this morning.. with a really aching feeling.. decided to go to the doc again (took the org given 2 hrs medical time off... timely cuz yep.. woke up ard 720 and dun want to be late.. and yep.. i oughta do cuz the red spotties on my legs are bothering me.. (yep.. the eczema is back again after i stopped the medication cream during taipei trip.. and yep.. i lost that tube of cream..)

presence of God just came upon me while waiting for bus 17 to the clinic.. Amazing.. words can't describe the love.. trulying amazing.. was pondering on His Words to me last night. Is this the time? Guess what.. While i was talking to xinlian deciding on bs timing.. sis linying called.. yep.. decided to go to attend the talk.. and see for myself.. though the lunch that follow afterwards, i will give it a miss cuz tmw is only Day 4. yep.. it's halfway thru' now.. and ya already, things are really happening.. :) Amazing! Exciting!

hmm.. why pple kept saying wo shou le? no leh.. i didn't do anything woah.. (fasting only 2 days won't have instantaneous effect right?)

hmmm.. kinda surprised that grace asked me to be part of her entourage for her wedding next year.. hmm.. yep.. the 2nd time le.. (should be the 3rd but i rejected my colleague's invi cuz ya.. her wedding in JB and it falls on weekend that pst phil coming.. ) when would my turn to 'recruit sisters'.. hmm ha yee dun be distracted.. tis not the season ..

yay.. going to meet jeanie my long time hairstylist today.. haven't seen her for 1 year ++ hmm see if i can invite her to the anniversary next week since she now part-timing.. maybe i should finally pinkie-fied my hair.. nah.. ?=)

The answer..

the answer is really in front of you.. question is .. can you see it?

when something major is gonna happen.. I could sense butterflies from within.. this afternoon.. as usual, I get this butterfly feeling.. I know there's something to be received this evening..

yep, no doubt I'd already read the outline last night.. early this morning.. yet.. the message that pastor preached really ministered to me. And during the ministry time.. " if not now.. when?" came ringing again.. yet.. I sense this time.. it refers to yet another aspect that I had been stagnant in.. the marketplace aspect.. things just start happening.. hmm funny that pple kept saying that I don't look like a desk bound person.. ahha.. wrong.. there is an innate me within . yet really.. I don't like to be bound indoor (though i dun mind doing admin @ times.. ) but i love walking ard.. yep.. hardly keep still.. yet.. the uncertainty comes in.. Yet today.. a fresh revelation of this verse, " God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of faith, power and a sound mind."

Need another confirmation.. Day 2 of inactive enzyme day..

I think I will break fast at huiling's 21st birthday.. keke.. :) huiling.. didn't know that banana found strawberry fierce initially.. haha.. no need to be afraid of me la.. we're friends k?

hmm what brother steven spoke to bro kenneth & me.. really blow me away.. or rather.. a confirmation of what He has spoken to me previously.. "liyi.. remember what i told you at the beginning of this year.. yes.. it'll come to pass this year end.. "

yay.. gonna be 5 year old soon..cUz it's the 17th anniversary @ Singapore Indoor Stadium next sUnday morning! Do really invite u to come.. if my dear friends (like v..) or whoever is reading this.. cuz ya.. like the transformation & love I've experienced.. u can too.. leave me a note. and yay.. I will reply! :)

I think I..

hmm chanced upon 范瑋琪's <我們的紀念日>in my bro's room.. i like track 7 "I think I' .. it's that title song from the korean drama (the only one that i watched in full.. ) cuz.. I think I...

in the middle of the shopping mall with my leather black book..

yea.. not leather black boots.. but leather black book..

if you seen someone@ an Isetan outlet in town with a phone in hand and flipping and jotting with the other on a wed evening.. that will be yours truly.. unexpectedly had an conference call request from bro steven @ 830ish this evening when xiaorong and i were shopping for huiling's 21st birthday present... hmm it was a short (hmm not really that short..) and swift.. direct and effective discipleship session.. with his other helpers & bro kenneth.. (hmm amazingly had two conference calls in one day!)

hmmm saying byee to huilig ... called almost all the sisters and robin.. and ya.. the friends.. felt led to call my most able left- cum right- hand lady.. only she could take what I wanna share.. hmmm .. i think I can really talk a.. to the pt i drained my freshly charged hp.. aiyos.. but good la.. some old spirits killed.. and... really.. could sense the breakthru coming to our lives to w110.. ( a great refreshing from the change of smses I'd.. which i was rather misunderstood.. )

yes.. my neck is still rather stiff (think my shoulder portion kinda swollen.. and neck pain...changing out of my top is really a pain in the neck.. literally PAIN in the neck) and yes.. not even going to take mc .. let alone take another day of vacation leave.. not time... (a) still have to complete the review of the cases of my team... (the person who covered me only done the ultra urgent cases... giving me only 2 days buffer period when i returned on thurs.. ya.. i understand she can't help much.. cuz it's the PEAK period .. and late refund means late interest.. AND i've really spend additional time correcting and recorrecting some guys' work.) and (b) the 2 milestones of the projects I've yet completed (yay due soooon),(c) the additional review work that i was tasked to look into, the last minute task that my boss want in the morning... and yeah.. this is just the work part.. and not to mention much more impt stuff like (d)my dear sheeps stuff that might require attention to while working..

and being on block leave for 1 week plus.. wise to take leave when u've uncompleted urgent tasks? Nah.
I said I would try my best and i've yet told you i've gotten approval for the leave. I guessed you think I'd gotten the approval.. but sorry that I didn't forsee the last minute urgent tasks? yet, you're angry. thanks.. And I don't even have the time to have a proper conversation with my parents since returning from taipei.. I've post-poned dinner on monday with my jc friend once again cuz of the work.. From the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate your invitation... sorry didn't RSVP a week beforehand... well, my fault for not letting you earlier on the mountainpile up the very first day I returned. I'm sorry for ruining your plans. I would make it up for you (for missing 16 & 27) on another day after I'm more freed up?

yes.. time is now 2:29.. had just done a mock-up of my sat assignment.. hmm easy topic for me cUz it was something i've always come in and out of.. really encourage u to attend cg this week if going thru' bad times.. and the amazing thing is that I could feel myself being ministered to by the time i was reaching the end.. and gave the altar call to my invisible grp.. really surreal... never thought that i could ministered to myself.. technically speaking not me to myself.. but He to me..

inflexible neck..

i think i'd really hurt my neck.. tilting to the left and back is a torture ... tsk tsk tsk.. and I don't think I can go to eugene's convo tmw.. cuz.. my work is overflowing.. and tsk tsk.. can't la.. cuz won't be eating anyway.. cuz my digestive enzymes only start work i guess sunday bah.. cuz they are taking a rest.. for many reasons..

yay! I got a very interesting assignment for this sat.. remind me of that day where andrew met rachel and i @ closed down cafe at citylink mall to evaluate us on giving the aos bs.. ( hmm at least 4 years ago ba..)hmmm just that this time round.. its a different level thingy.. [the flesh wants to feel fearful.. but the spirit says no!]

Smile..

ha.. I just submitted my smile.. have you?If not, go to smile Singapore (after all the advertising.. i thought that my little angelic sweetie smile on the mural welcoming the IMF delegates would definitely brighten their stay here..

feeling chirpy today despite the apparent stiff neck.. which i hope not from the "thud" last night.. and the muscle ache.. (cuz pastor mike amazing wave knocked us out ~ the lucky ones standing near front...~ a couple of times..)

yeah... now i've two big thots on my mind.. major decision? the door seems to be opening yet is this the time? Praying and fasting.. and also a third thot perhaps.. hmmm that's not too impt now though.. if it come to pass.. good.. if not.. sooner or later.. haha [the parables starting again?]

Philippians 4:6 &7 'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.'

cleaned up..

yep.. cleaned up.. though it was not as dramatic as I thought it would be.. just spit after spit.. and more spit.. after spit.. though my landing was kinda dramatic cuz i landed with a thud.. and saw stars within my head.. (yup, i half suspect no catcher behind me..) and my wedgies was left standing by themselves after i fell.. comic part aside, it was a good feeling to be released.. from the churning from within (that started halfway thru' the meeting...)

hmmm it was a long meeting after the meeting with pst mike cuz ya.. hmm.. ya.. alright.. that's all i've to say...

oh, i met sister linying on my way to the meeting.. was talking to her.. hmm she asked me if I ever thought of going into her industry.. hmmm hmm.. and ya.. she asked me to go to her firm to take a look if i'm interested, she can arranged me to talk to bro nicholas.. hmmm... told her that i would pray and consider abt it.. (yes.. i dun like working at novena.. except for the stable income.. but ha.. this would mean a trade off of comfort to exciting times!) hmm and the least unexpected .. she tried to matchmake me with .. hmm.. (I could literally feel my face warmed up.. wonder why?) hmmm.. she was the second person to suggest him within a week ... pure coincidence bah??

okie.. pray.. time to pray.. bye...

p.s. didn't realise its the "hungary month" again.. until karen reminded me.. :) not that it make a huge difference.. i arrived home only at 1:45!

honored...

"To think that the universe could not withhold Your glory, You choose to live in me, I'm so amazed."

without Him.. I think my energy tank would be empty now.. energy almost zapped out of me by the time i reached home on sunday evening.. Truly.. the joy of the Lord is my strength..  

I've to stop seeing myself as just serving like a servant.. but truly.. as His daughter..

Intense battle grounds on the inside these couple of months. don't think anyone knows except the anointed ones that God has revealed to (cuz what ever the leaders said/ prayed for me just confirmed every single little nagging thoughts within me).  Can't say much... yet... i give thanks for all the preparation ground.. the struggles.. the battles within and without.. everything... Right now understand why ryan told me certain things before he left..  (cuz i don't really fully understand then.. )

don't really know why.. but His ways are higher than mine.. and yes.. indeed.. amazed why me...

yet.. I press on.. and press on...  

"Take all of me for all of You.. You're my heart's desire.."

mangO... the drink.. the lunch... or?

my lunch.. if u call it lunch.., memories of princess mione.

hmm... mind is cluttered.. very cluttered.. one of the things have to do with this mango craving.. haha.. mangoes? hmm the fruit? the juice? or? haha.. oh no.. am i starting on this all over again ... ah... can't blame me though.. I'm still flesh and blood.. and really.. maybe i stepped on some post -it though..

taipei pix.. )

uploaded Day 1 to 5 of my Taipei trip..

Click here
and unknowingly.. some pple has already viewed my photos.. wonder who.. haha... if u wanna read the descriptions of the pix.. can click the pix (if u viewing under slide show.. else it should appear below the pix.. ) my thoughts from the trip.. later ba.. am still rather tired from the whole week of events..

I really have to schedule my time.. i got so many things to do..

See things from a different perspective...

What's in my hand?
Truly... how my future will be is determined by what I will do with what's in my hand... I need to maximise it! I've to start seeing things from a higher perspective.. And yes.. Holy Spirit.. I need to partner with You..

Am truly overwhelmed by what I heard from alvin and steven regarding tsk tsk tsk.. haiz.. wonder why can't the sheeps be more sensible... Tsk tsk.. I'll have to start dealing with things that I don't really wish to... tsk tsk.. and i've to stop seeing myself as just standing in cuz no one else is doing it.. and the reality is that ya.. whatever He wants to me to step into is coming to pass... and that reality has to sink in.. it's not temporal..

I really need to grow like never before...

I need to focus.. and truly... Holy Spirit.. you are my CGL! I need more time.. am really hard pressed for time.. I need to multiply myself..

pray and fast... Pastor Mike is coming next week.. hope to spring clean some stuff though!! yeah.. it shall go...

熊猫

刚进浴室，发现了黑眼圈好深啊！像足了中国的国宝呀！

attempted to load my taiwan pix to flickr.. haha am only at day 2.. :)

lein...hope i didn't write in tongues just now.. my eyes are sleepy and i need to pray and rest...

The highlight of the day!

The highlight of the day!
memories of princess mione.

Was feeling rather low lunchtime... ha.. the usual bouts of "that" trying to sink in from the bad.. decided to give myself a treat... got myself a tall latte... Instant esctasy! (though sipping thru' the stirrer/ straw sorta sorched my tongue.. :)

~ realised that I could blog from flickr! :)

blessed...

sometimes.. u just wonder... what have you done to deserve the blessings received.. the grace of God..

Despite how many times you fell.. He still has the absolute faith in you.. He chose us before we choose Him. He already knew what He was getting before calling us.. I'm not greater than God.. and nope.. the only limiter is yourself..

last night.. it was yet another awesome cellgroup meeting.. Awesome not just because of the hype.. awesome because He has confirmed what He wants me to do.. yes.. God is not tryant.. He gave me a choice.. yet.. it's either to remain comfortable or get on an exciting journey.. Truly.. God knows your inadequacy and your weakness.. yet, in our weaskness, He is made strong..

yeah.. though the road is narrow.. but I will plough thru'.. looking forward to year end.. He knows I don't really like going novena every weekday morning.. yet this is not the time yet.. He knows I want to go sot next year.. the finances will come.. (and i gotta stop spending...) He knows everything that's on my mind.. yet He still have absolute faith in me..

God.. I love you..

urgh,,,, mountains.. after mountains..

happily.. I was once again assigned additional task again.. to supervise the temp staff doing the pulping project cuz the guy who was in charge originally (used to have 2, currently left with one cuz the other one suffered 2 slip discs so the remaining one complaining that his time is occupied with the supervisory work and as well as the operational work... ) haha.. guess who get the additional task.. haha.. yours truly (though me of a lower grade than him... ) well.. can i say no? Not really... I mean i could reject, but it would one chance less to excel by... haha...

busy busy day... just finished my songsheet for tonight... Thank God that the panelist thingy went well.. Prayed for God's wisdom in answering cuz seriously.. i don't have all the knowledge my fingertips... and i just returned work today and haha.. was faced with mountains of cases to approve... not to mentioned the additional task..

like wht i said in an earlier post.. it's gonna be stretching... Not just spiritually, but the marketplace too.. :) well well... busy busy... but then.. if I could do it.. keke.. then the others can't use "work" as an "legal" excuse to be excluded from certain things.. okie gotta go back and level the mountain... :)

irritated..

if I have not called to confirm, I would not know about the details.. If I had not called, can i assume that I wasn't informed and don't go down at all?

Irritated...

yet another day spent at home..

yes.. your truly has forgotten to set her alarm.. hence.. overslept.. woke up with some bad dreams @ 720.. decided to take half a day, and report for work at noon time.. yet.. the body was still very tired by noon time so, took the whole day off..

initially... thought this week would be a R&R week for cg.. since it's a combined meeting.. but uh-huh.. back to individual cgm.. and the best part.. i cannot delegate out the other segments.. cuz.. brother steven wanted me to prepare for all segments except for the Word .. and be prepared to move in the gifts of the Spirits..... stress? eh.. sorta but then... on my way on the plane back to S'pore.. I was reminded again and again.. that whatever I do, it will not be by my own flesh.. (I was reading Is 49 to 51..)

Is 50:4

" The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned. that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to hear as the learned."

Well.. really.. this is the time to press on.. .really press on.. yes.. no doubt things may happen... this is part & parcel of the moulding process.. stretching ya ... am in the phase of doing things that I won't imagine myself 5 years ago.. (yes.. i don't really like speaking to crowds.. and haha.. tmw.. gotta do the panelist thingy for the GST class n ya.. more chances to speak to a smaller crowd- but of greater importance.. @ cgm at night... ) even the ministry that I was assigned to requires great interraction with the crowd.. I was in bookstore whereby we would need to enage the participants and to sell the prdts and to interact with them.. (hmm at least now i know.. I don't look/ sound like Singaporean.. haha.. some thought I was from Hong Kong/ Japan/ Korea !)

received an sms today from sis enhui... yay! I was selected to be in the choir POM.. man.. i can remember 2 years ago.. i was involved.. yet not representing choir ( i was on choir break then.. going thru' a terrible time then..).. but the youth ministry.. (which incidentally that's how i got to know some other choir members like carmen/amanda...) hmm.. hmm... seriously wonder how long would i be ard in choir still... See how God lead ba..

hmm tonight would need to prepare for tmw cg.. yay.. i should be excited right? so.. won't update on the taipei trip yet.. ja ne!

back in Singapore.... :)

ellos.. ellos... yups.. am back.... heart is filled with joy when i caught a glimpse of the familar landscape of Singapore @ 2235++ last night.. Hey, not that I don't enjoy the last 8 days spent in Taipei.. [in fact it has been a phenomenal experience... :)] but there's no place like home..

still have yet unpacked my luggage.. think i lost my cute NT50 flower ring @ the Chiang Kai Shek International Airport.. cuz took it out while passing through the gantry check :( don't seem to find it anywhere..

will take time to blog abt the Taiwan Emerge/ and the rare moments in next few days ba... took lotsa pix to the extent that I'd finished the 512MB of my memory stick and resorted to using the sad 32MB internal memory space.

rachel dear.. woah.. seemed like u had a great time @ the hillsong conference... :) missya..

now.. wonder how much i would need to pay for the auto-raoming charges... certain happenings in this sunny state had required me to call for nearly 15minutes.. :( [why can't they understand??]

... to be continued...

i'm leaving... yay!!

In 3 hours time...

so.. the blog will not be updated for at least one week.. unlesss i find internet connections... :) will do post update though.. :)

pray for us okie & yay.. pack hall 8 this week!! :)

packed.. ready to go?

am feeling kinda butterflyly.. in less 12 hours.. i will be on the flight to taipei ..

packed.. in 20 minutes..

nervous... hmm haven't been on an overseas trip for a really long time.. gonna miss my bed, my room.. and my cg, church service in time of absence from sunny island singapore...

checked :: cg matters.. delegated to xinlian & eugene.. happy.. they are gonna have an outing this thurs.. haha.. made them to make it evangelistic too.. for the friendship connection weekend!

Not checked.. the new friends that came and i'm supposed to call them up.. guess that i will call from taipei then... members that don't appear .. yes.. i will call them frm taipei if possible..

excited? yep.. yet..nervous.. there's an element of expectancy that something's gonna happen.. praying that this trip would certainly open my eyes and ya.. bring back good reports and the local delicacy that some wanted.. and ya.. the cds for my bro (if not for the luggage case that i loan from him.. urgh.. the way he make it seemd like i'm going on a "torture workaholic trip" when i told him i would try to buy if i passed by a cd shop.. he just don't understand that this is not a "pleasure leisure" trip.

gonna go pray.. i guess at least 50% of population watching the worldcup. i'm not gonna continue to...

sleepy.. it has been a tiring week.. I only breathe after S2 ended..

gonna QT and that.. thanks huiling!

buttercUp.. happy birthday

or i should say.. happy belated birthday!! (by the time u are reading this, i reckon.. maybe sipping your cuppa?)

my no.1 reader.. haha.. i know u will miss the void in posting for the next 8 days... but really thanks 4 being the faithful reader... yet i hope.. not just reading pleasure.. but hopefully... some of the posts do inspire U to do more for our dear FAther God?

the first time..

i challenged the cg to bring friends.. really challenged during the debrief.. Not that I have to..(though i have to..) but felt very led to.. and really told them off.. in a good manner.. eh.. meaning.. i guess only the hard ones will feel agitated... cuz the guys were gathering @ one corner chatting (GUYS chatting...can u imaging?) when i brought TWO friends over.. they like totally engrossed in their chatter and nonchalant abt the presence of these two new friends.. in my heart i was praying.. if next week like that. how?

felt very challenged to mini-whack the brothers them.. (except for chris and lian..)the 1st time that i felt very satisfied after debrief...

did my first conference call with lian & eugene after one hour+ call to 2 members and persistence in getting a irregular member to come instead on the soccer fame..

brother steven came over the counter @ coffeebead to covey let Mat kno that im frrrrr to to talk to me just now..

tired.. need zzzz another long day ahead... can't think .. byeeee

hot... stuffy.. no lights..

yup.. fortunately.. my workstation is next to the glass panel.. where the natural light streams in.. went to office to retrieve my watch.. (in my hurriedness i left my watch on the table.. and finish my memo..) am abt to leave now.. man.. just realised one of my member has a minor surgery.. gotta visit tmw aft pm ba..

now rushing off to develop more photos and buy gift... tata!!

am out of the stuffy office!

4:46

yep.. it's 4:46 am.. fruitful nite.. msn-"counselled" a friend.. tried to invite a friend.. system got invaded by silly trojan horse but STOPPEd by trustworthy Norton antivirus.. spent 1 hrs+ to rescan.. made 2 cards for july members (Still have many to go.. don't think can churn them out by tmw.. ).. read a blog and a couple.. (sad that mr brown's column in today is suspended indefinitely..) read another.. really must pray for this person.. finished photoshop-ping the pix that sis mel sent.. attendance updated.. still not there yet.. confident for more.. :)

it's 4:53 going to qt.. silly me left my watchie @ work, gotta go retrieve later.. buy pressie.. call my friend ...go prac.. meet members.. meet new friends.. wow.. busy day ahead.. :)
oyasumi!

in my mind...

hmmm... many (new & old) thoughts/ faces have been floating thru' my head recently... ya.. many things on my mind... some's just hard to shake it away... distracting... yet.. it's not the time to be distracted... not that right time... Geeeeee... very very distracting.... (na.. it's not a bad thought.. it's very pure...)

if i could just change the music... it would shed light to the question above.. aha! (na... i won't.. ) it would just add to greater distraction... Nah.. c'est tout! Only one know my thoughts... Him!

too much...

am in the state wondering if I've too much things on hand.. or I don't know how to say "NO"?

hmmm.. need to find oppty to talk to cherie later... to invite her tmw..

need to finish the foto album i promised claire.. (think it will look very princessy! I think the sis connie would like it.. )

need to call some of the members..

need to finish my work before i leave office later..

need to finish others pple's work i leave today...

need to do up my project stuff...

need to buy the july babes ( quite a no....)present... not to mention cards to be birthed..

All this in one day?

OR have i not perfected the art of delegation? Or no one i could delegate to??

And I have yet pack my luggage.. I have not change $$....


and i think I'm losing my appetite.. haven't been really eating much these few days.. and don't feel like eating...Didn't fast yesterday & today cuz my gastric errupted.. Why did people that I've not met for quite some time said i looked slimmer? The weighing scale shows the same mark.. and I've not been going to the gym for the past few weeks.. the only excercise that i did.. was prolly during praise every weekend.. :)

urgh.. back to clearing the stuff before i meet claire later to hand in the prdt that is not yet completed.. by faith, it shall be done within 30 min.. :)[can only do that after 5pm.. official work hours over..]

as a child or as a servant?

Why do you serve Me? Because you are obliged to? Because you have to?

Why do you see yourself as? Just a servant in My house? Or My child? There is a difference between being My servant and My child. A servant will do only what I command him/ her to do. A child would do what the servant would do and know what I want him/her to do before I speak a word. My child knows my heart...

Jn15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.

stop looking left and right... it's you..

it was yet another great cellgroup meeting! I was indeed surprise that the guy that I challenged last Sat came to cellgroup after a loooong hiatus! Truly, it's God's moving.. ..

Yes, My fruits shall remain... Today, brother Steven laid hands on the ministry members and main helper in cg. (interestingly, some of my members who are not mm decided to respond.. guess they heard wrongly being in ministry = mm?.. )....

I have seen what you have done for the members, your toil, you trying to minister to them... yet stop saying that there are those who are better qualified than you.. you are the chosen one.. and I will give you greater wisdom to speak your members.. Fresh anointing will come upon you... I've called you to be fruitful and your fruits shall remain...

yi.. stop looking @ what you have.. look from my point of view.. yes, no doubt there are many more "experienced" guys ard.. but I've called you not them.. how many times do I have to reassure you? Step in and be bold..

am indeed privileged and very loved that in spite of how little my faith is.. He never gave up on me..

carmen.. thanks.. am feeling much better.. :)

38.4

yep.. am running a fever now.. feeling nauseous and aching all over... wonder if i can go work later...

yet woke up cuz the songsheet has yet to be done....

am heading back to zzz now . pray for me if u're reading this..hope that i'm healed by this evening...

wonderful old and trustworthy phone.. and many thanks..

was in a fanatic situation from 1045 to 1315? Y? cuz part of the gray matter couldn't recall the melody of a particular song it just heard last nite during the miting.. and bro steven wanted this song for worship... the chorus was what the gray matter could recalled..

then.. someone came to mind.. gwen.. keke..thanks gal for your time.. and 'sacrifice' for singing to me (& allowing me to record your angelic voice..) :) and dear banana.. will help u to gather the x-n79 to celebrate ur 21st @ month end less a day!

the morning just whizzed by...

the last four hours just whizzed by... (a) the system is down... so i "legally" did my annoucement sms... tried to squeue into 2 sms.. but failed.. (b) i just can't seemed to recall the verses of the worship song sang last nite.. only can recall the chorus.. well.. there will be a way.. have to know this by tonight.. well well.. now @ the resource centre downloaded the pix required for a farewell gift in making.. (cuz me no mail access @ my workstation.. just filtered internet access.. good enough.. for searches...) have to do an excellent job for this.. after all this is tasked by my dotter claire.. :) she is very cutesy last nite while giving the annoucements for TTD! her debute !

okie.. downloaded done.. back to WOrk..!

thots : before, during, after

Thots before the meeting...

mione has no time...

recently this has been how my time was spent . whereby weekdays from 0800 to 1730, i'm loaded with work that (a) was part of my JD (job description), (b) what my subordinates should have done but couldn't manage (c) what was not within my JD but what my boss gave me to stretch me.. (d) what ought not to be done during working hours but i gotta squeeze time to do that cuz situation arises and i've yet learnt the art of delegation... or the fine target to delegate and meet my standard ... (e) things that my Father has purposed in me and yet i've not done.. (f) thoughts that made me lose focus.. ~ yikes.. it's not time for that... no time for that .. not yet..

from 1730 till i sleep.. i have to balance the delicate time left to accomplish (a) to (c) to an extent to finish as much as possible.. as well as (d) -(f) and spend time with my family.. and friends... and... URGH.. i need to multiply my 24 hours... I need wisdom to manage my time and be fruitful in all...
R& R for weekends is sat am and sun nite only.. I really need greater wisdom to manage my time!
_________________________________
during the meeting... A Voice says...

"why do you keep running away? "

"Why can't you just be still and listen what I have to say? "

"Why do you keep filling yourself with the trash that has been discarded?"

"If I said I've called, I've.. "

It's not impossible.. with God, all things are possible..

"If you can encourage others and believe in them.. believe in yourself.. the words are meant for you too.. "
_________________________________

Thoughts after the meeting

In my frailty, He is lifted high. I can't do it without Him.. Him and Him alone. I thank God for the great men and women of God around me who believe in me.. Yet, His faith is me greatly astound me... Yet.. it's not me.. but through me.. I really hope to do get there before I turn a year older.. (i.e. add another year to the age i currently goes by!) till this very moment...

with that said.. the greatest challenge ahead is this week... it has to happen! had been fasting 12hrs for past two days.. will do so till sun (though i believe my doc will scream at me if he knows i'm doing this.. ya... ) I don't have a much better plan than prayer and fasting .. YET i believe this week cg will be great and packed to brim!! and yes.. i will see many new faces this week!! :)

path of the righteous will shine brighter and brighter... :)

But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.
Prov 4:18

His hand in midst of all

1. Really need to keep my thoughts clear.
2. Really need to focus.
3. Really need to love more & sow into lives of others..

Was very touched by what Brother Steven shared with me regarding my cellgrp yesterday while waiting for pastor. He was full of love for them, just after one meeting with them. Yet.. there is a deep reproach in me too.. that my heart seemed to be cold towards some of them.. why.. cuz i've labelled them unconsciously by the things that they do, the attitudes protrayed.. BUT something I caught from him was that.. we should always encourage, rather focus on the wrongs they have done.. the mistakes they made.. To motivate them... to really love them..

In fact, i didn't feel like going to summer's bbq aftr meeting with Pastor.. got a mini-whacking.. and seriously.. no appetite.. yet i've promised.. so i did...

This may sound silly, but i had an interesting one-sided conversation with God last nite. One sided cuz i was listing down all my complaints.. my woes...and why things aren't happening... Silly cuz.. it was really silly...

"Are you done yet?"

silly me still went on blabbering... guess i was really tired... fell asleep halfway thru'.While i trying to continue my silly argument with God this morning.. Is 41 came to me.. Indeed, my complaints.. my anxiety were groundless.. Indeed, what He has started, He would not just leave it to die off.. instead, He will prosper it.. and fruitfulness will abound... and this came after..


Jn15:1-8
"I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.


My capacity to love seemed to have shrank with time.. yet... in spite of my frailty, He still haven't given up hope on me...Before He called, He already know me. God didn't give me a second chance, He gave me a brand new start.. this next few months would be trying, yet, I know, I need to press on.. He will provide what I lack.. He will empowered me with what I need...

He loves me just for who I am.

What He has spoken, will come to pass.. What I've asked, it will be done.. What i need to do now is press ON! and whack the attacks of the devil! SPirtual warfare!!

pressing on... am pressing on..

it was certainly a word in season for many of us.. at least for me... pressing on... indeed i need to press on... and God's presence was really very thick... before Pastor finished preaching.. was already tearing.. and for the very first time.. couldn't stop trembling even before i went down for the altar call.. really need a fresh touch from heaven... and ya.. i believe i can do what He wanted me to do... yes.. He's called me and it's up to me to respond now...

Question that God asked me today: Are you doing this because you have to or you really want to... (by the array of interesting responses the shepherd have from some sheeps... shepherd being flesh and blood will tend to complain..) well.. I have to... but most importantly... i want to.. and yes ... not that I've called myself.. but He has called me...

was glad that I stayed home last nite... cuz if not, won't be able to catch up with cuiqi and carmen...
cuiqi.. will let u know again on the trip (i really wanna go.. ) and the vocal mp3. was real inspired and did a 20min vocal warm up this morning! :) yay.. i finally can meet ur 豆豆 tmw!

carmen... am really ministered by the chat and your words of encouragement ... :)

did something out of the norm.. attempted to "challenged" the submerged emerge participant.. in the softest manner i could though.. hope he's caught something from Pastor Tan's msg...

something cropped up after svc.. was supposed to go makeup cg.. yet didn't... long story.. but i guessed all these happened for a reason... else i won't be able to meet huiling at the attributes.. and won't be able to catch up with her.. and gal.. it was really great talking to you... and ya.. have faith that you can do it.. If I can, so can you! (sorry for being soo long-winded though...)

yay.. one week later.. i'll be on my way to Taipei... exciting!!