When I grow up

haha.. not the pussycat doll's song.. (Funny why I kept using song titles as my post titles..) haha..

I wish I could remain as a child, living in the lala land when everything is pink and sweet and everyone will find their prince charming/ snow white (is the that female equivalent of "prince charming"? - whatever, I'm not into snow white..) and live happily ever after.. No need to fret about thing such as what the brain will say pinky in every episode of the cartoon...

Pinky: "Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?"

The Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world."

Hmmm okie, I know I'm not destined to take over the world.. (hello, last I checked, my last name ain't stalin nor hitler) but rather..we are destined to impact the world.. (not in terms of gravitational force leaving permanent damage on the ground..) Oh yeah, just an ordinary person wanting to do something extraordinary.. (not a cliche..but i guessed, everyone does wanna make a difference in one way or another right?)

Okie, I am into the parable-writing mode once again, but once again, am given this chance to redeem what I've failed to do the other time round.. (oh yeah, all sparked off from the meeting last sat after service..) BUT the inertia of the flesh is so hard to overcome..  Gosh, I feel like as if I'm re-taking the "da-bao" module that I'd failed horribly (probably a big fat F - not even a E grade (the useless marginal fail grade that allows you to take a higher module but you still have to resit for the paper..till you cleared it..).  And I don't wanna resit this paper again..

God, give me the strength and tenacity and faith to clear this stage. Oh yes, the environment is not exactly the ideal environment that  i envisioned ( like what i told estelle that nite after our long long chat @ her voiddeck after combined cg meeting and .. i walked all the way home (half asleep) and witness a cat hunting/chasing a mouse..yay!! way to go, kitty!..).. seriously, I've never dreamt asking to be out until that.. which I reckon if I'd not make the decision to break away from.. I would be gone.. still in this world.. and really in this world.. 

Still growing.. among the thorns.. hopefully wandering out soon...

When I grow up.. I will do what I had listed what I wanted to do (at the sidebar of the blog)..  as such, it's time for streamlining...