Upon exit, the contrast set in. We know a lot, yet reality of the matters (reality defined as what we perceive with our five senses - yet a contrast opposite from the reality we set our faith in - which indeed is a paradox cuz that's what we believed in.) is that the feel-good-feeling was attacked by the non-invasive invasive thoughts that seeped in (subconsciously)... Sigh.. Adam, why did you fall? Sigh.. the perils of the fallen man, to be susceptible to the attacks of the unseen force (hmmm this sound so star-wars... "may the force be with you...") Dilemma.. Or simply the faith level is still at the low-low spectrum?
Simply put it.. I feel like I'm in retirement despite of the many good years I still ought to have ahead of me.. The colourful (and exciting) picture painted in the canvas within seemed like a distant cry of what the human mind can conceived.. the red-side declared that it's just a good-wishful thinking... the pristine-white side tries to reassure the fickle human mind that it's indeed the blueprint that has been set in even I was conceived..
It has been a warring 2008. Felt like a POW .... what has happened has surely diminished the strong flame that was burning on strong a couple of years back ... Not blaming the one that ought to have help but failed to (who perhaps did prayed for me and perhaps think that I will get out the way I get myself in by myself.. which then I ask, are you fulfilling the assigned "JD" that was required of your title.. Or did I expect too much of you?)
Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
I need to upheave the dirt & grime, blood & tears that have buried the mustard seed... the mustard seed faith ...
meanwhile.. I sing, I dance, I rejoice...
Philippians 4:4
Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
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