the thousAnd and one thoughts lingering in my mind..

Many thoughts ran through my head since the last time I posted anything.. Some are deemed too personal .. some are deemed too wild.. some are just plain crazy...

Had my 1st vocal lesson together with jolene on Monday... nOpe, not the personal one to one session, but the size of my class was alright.. approximately 10.. 老师 (I realised that vocal coaches like to address themselves as" XX老师")is one of the old-era 新谣composer/singer.. Hmm, I guess after the 20 lessons.. I should improve ba... don't have the sufficient funds to sca yet.. 2 areas I wanna pursue in : vocals and visual arts.. yep yep.. Painting/ drawing... (If that's what He showed me.. Twice! Though it's a hard for me to digest.. ) Oooh.. Artist-in-the-making.. ~ I don't have the typical accountant look anyway.. even though am trained & "vocation-ed" as one.. *faint*

Many thoughts that ran through my head.. and the haunting & daunting thoughts of the rise & falls.... dislike the phrase "心有余而力不足". The more biblical translation "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"... - in plain simple language = not willing..

Am I unwilling or simply dare not think or ask anymore? Or have I became myopic in the things of the unseen? Did I take on a refugee mindset and sought refuge when the toes barely touches the fire..? Would I have survive the "ordeal" if I remained & emerge victorious? Did I made the right decision then? I don't know... I seemed to taken on a running-stance towards certain situations..

Yet.. Rom 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

and I dislike waiting.. A patient learning to be patient... Ironical? God has a good sense of humour..

With regards to what's raging within…

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"
Matthew 7:7-11

And.. if that had not hit the nail..

"Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. "
1John 5:14-15

More of You and less of me…