it was an interesting week since Sunday.. went to the midsummer night dream @ fort canning park with r8ch.. [got lost after wandering a while but thank God we made it back... PTL! :)]
never found it so relaxing while serving my notice period... just found it so unfulfilling... while.. 15 more days to FREEDOM..
went to "remedified" my hair on wed.. yeah.. Jeanie is back.. (though she's working only part time.. actually she can concentrate to be a taitai.. and take care of her new born.. ) well.. at least now it's not so unkempt.. and yup.. i wish the growth will accelerate.. miss my long hair days..
hmm back to the title..
sign.. i detest the work of the devil.. the subtle thought that i entertain once too often... the accumulation of toxin can kill..
once again.. i get the "gentle reminder" from the cgl.. (it's well-deserved.. i knew it the moment i reacted in that manner.. well.. in the jargon term.. it is known as walking in the flesh.. - in simple term.. rebellion.. ) way thru'out the second session of emerge today.. i felt the prick - actually avoiding is unless.. Sigh.. what's wrong.. i kept rebelling..
despite being over the youthy age.. i really love attending emerge conferences.. had the privilege to attend the emerge since the very 1st one.. and even served all the services for last year's (despite the status of "Working adult") well.. not just that.. it's the Presence of God.. the serenity.. the love.. the commitment made..
This year is different.. no longer the lovely dovy feeling only, but like a double-edged sword.. experienced the pierecing end too.. time of discipling.. (by the Word.. then by the MOG) a new level of commitment.. a higher level of ploughing thru'... yet the decision lies with me.. do i want to stay comfortable or.. rise up... i dislike the spurs of motivation... it ought to be steady stream.. instead of the abrupt moving and jerky stop and reclining..
Urgh...
June is here... five months have passed.. i can't undo what's done in jan - may.. but i have yet seven more months to "remedify".. New season... new job.. renewed dream/vision .. ( He reminded me what He spoke to me 5 years ago @ a zone meeting @ the ulu ulu Anglican retreat centre... and what I truly desired... the full time commitment... YET.. if i can't overcome this tiny hurdle now.. i can't move on... )
the trickle is felt again.. the river will flow..
i felt so undeserved of the expectations HE and the others have of me..
I can only respond by this :
the gifts you have given to me.. i placed at Your hand..
* looking forward to rest of the sessions.. *
p.s. rachel.. thanks for everything today... :)
jadyn.. yup.. i will press on... :)
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