was kinda jittery last night.. simply 'cuz lack of preparation.. and ya.. confidence.. i.e. I need greater measure of faith.. I need to get out of the mindset that other's opinions are more impt than how God sees me...
for the past few weeks when Brother Ryan in on the entensively long period of absence .. i guess I'm constantly bugged by the fact that there are those ard who doesn't really feel that I should be the one... (cuz ya.. there are guys who are more "senior" than me ard.. and ya.. the flesh would challenge.. why her.. not them? or not me..)
Yet, it boiled down to ONE key reason.. Am i sure of my calling? and yes.. it is God and God who has called me.. if it is not according to the will of God, I will not be called to do the things I'm currently doing..
Indeed, I'm more of the reserved nature.. yet again, I've been born again.. and yes.. the old me is not what God wants me to be be.. and not what He has intended.. if only i would stretch out and look up..
Yeah, i know i didn't do so well last nite for pnw.. it was kinda bad that bro Justin has to come to the rescue.. cuz ya.. i was kinda intimidated.. (Thank GOd that it was not pastor who came down.. else i think I would be more stressed out!) Was actually kinda intimidated by Brother Justin before last nite, but then again.. mayb cuz I don't know him ba.. but really thankful for the word of encouragement that he gave me after the cg.
God showed me a glimpse of what I could do by end of the year if only i could break off from the old paradigm. And ya, during ministry time.. it was further confirmecd when brother justin prayed for me..
i need to look beyond myself.. it's not me.. but Him..
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