ya.. I know this was for me.. strangely, i was reminded of the story of Samson before the weekend sermon..- on a different aspect - how he lost his strength.. Yet a different aspect of Samson's life came to light this afternoon... and I was reminded again how I was circling and circling about.. and yes.. going nowhere in particular..
And as Pastor Tan was preaching.. my heart tugged once more.. and to think i was just telling Kelly yesterday my response to going sot was "next year" and the next year never came.. Truly not this year.. but definitely within the next 3 years..
When Pastor gave the word of prophesy .. it was like.. indeed God sees and God is real!
indeed the calling is irrevocable.. BUT the decision between "Zorah" or "Eshtaol" lies with me..
Ambivalence - best state to describe princess.. The voice that says "bash through".. and the voice that says "run away... it doesn't make a difference.." The faith level that builds up on Sat just came crashing down when i face the place I fell.. And the voices that expresses care seemed faded and "sincere". If you do.. will you do nothing about it just because the subject in question seemed shut? Question.. who in the right frame of mind will go around telling the whole wide world that things are not going fine.. And if that person matters to you (and really do) you will still try to reach out no matter what right? And by not doing anything and leaving you alone is "i care"? You say I shut you out but I felt being shut out of your life instead. You vent your frustration at me.. when you were void of existence in my life in the past few months.. I'm tired.. is this a breakdown in the communication chain?
Why is it always my fault? Why does the responsibility to second guess your intention lies with me? Have you ever put yourself in my shoes? And I did not send you weird sms-es. I guessed you failed to understand the situation I'm in, hence failure to decipher the underlying meaning. and I thought you know.
I'm really tired.
I'm just flesh and blood..
And the strange thing was that i was just listening to the old sermon audio CDs that I bought cheapcheap during the Taiwan Emerge in 06 on Daily Encounters with God. And I was just behaving like what Pastor Kong was describing.. the beautiful heart was encrusted in a glass box.. (except that the glass box is not preventing God from touching me.. but rather is His creation..) To break or not to break.. ?
I chose Eshtaol.
Sunday, 30 March 2008
*Unjustified*
I learnt that someone had attempted to smear princess' reputation that :
(1) she is one that goes back on her word; and
(2) she never replies to sms.
My first reaction.. oh well.. What RIGHT do you have to say and pass that judgment... Also, he was not party to the incident... he just mutated the truth and told another 3rd party.. Harlow.. when did i ever say that it's a FREE thingy?Anyway, I'm not the person who did the calculations and she who did the computation is the treasurer... so unless you question her integrity. WHAT right do you have to tell another that princess had went back on her word (she did not remember telling tHAT person that hey it's free and nope, he was not invited..) and made those who came pay... Hello... princess don't possess the quantum of material possessions like the accuser does... and she always reply to sms that require an answer except that he sent on tues and she did apologize for the late and delayed reply.. WHAT RIGHT does he have to comment that and yes tarnish her reputation... Man, what's his intention? and to think he is supposed to be かそく. Totally bewildered..
And I don't know what else he attempt to confuse behind my back.. why are you playing these political games here...
Then I realized.. his words and actions resembled the Pharisees .. Oh well..
let him be judged by God..
(1) she is one that goes back on her word; and
(2) she never replies to sms.
My first reaction.. oh well.. What RIGHT do you have to say and pass that judgment... Also, he was not party to the incident... he just mutated the truth and told another 3rd party.. Harlow.. when did i ever say that it's a FREE thingy?Anyway, I'm not the person who did the calculations and she who did the computation is the treasurer... so unless you question her integrity. WHAT right do you have to tell another that princess had went back on her word (she did not remember telling tHAT person that hey it's free and nope, he was not invited..) and made those who came pay... Hello... princess don't possess the quantum of material possessions like the accuser does... and she always reply to sms that require an answer except that he sent on tues and she did apologize for the late and delayed reply.. WHAT RIGHT does he have to comment that and yes tarnish her reputation... Man, what's his intention? and to think he is supposed to be かそく. Totally bewildered..
And I don't know what else he attempt to confuse behind my back.. why are you playing these political games here...
Then I realized.. his words and actions resembled the Pharisees .. Oh well..
let him be judged by God..
You Alone
One of those old songs that really melt my heart.... Remembered the first time I heard it was in one of the overnight prayer meetings.. oooo.. Love the very tangible presence that fills the whole B4.. Wow.. almost wished that the song will go on and on and yup.. wanted to stay for service... linger in His presence..
but had a good time with kelly after singing for s1... sO happie for her.. her joy is overflowing.. :) yup.. you deserve the best!
hmmm Jia was pretty surprised that i was without any "portfolio" in choir.. she asked if I have the desire to rise up.. in choir... or is it cg... or both... oh well.. I just smiled at her.. oh well.. what could i tell her? that I'm in the midst of.. "spring-summer vacation", having the "time of my life"... matter of fact... I don't rule that out... just see how He leads...
Oh yesh.. i'd a nitemare this morning.. woke up at 545 and made a mad rush to cram the 80+ slides into my slumbering gray matter.. And I wrote in tongues again for the exam - Oh well.. I realised... this tax thing is not gonna be my bread and butter for life.. perhaps in this phase of life.. And Yippie, I finally get my life back and need not go for wed and sat class every week... conclusion.. this is not my cup of tea.. i prefer coffee.. *lame* anyway, the grades don't matter. I took the exam for the fun of it.. afterall no cert. (unless i sign up for the 9 months long course which lead to a cert and yesh.. one year off the Master in Taxation offered by UniSim... ) Oh eeeeeeeeeeeeek! I don't want...
Sigh.. if only i didn't "itchy-hand" and change my 1st choice from Architecture to Accountancy during the uni registration period then... too late now.. Oh well.. at least this still lead me to a rather well prospect easy life *these couple of weeks..I've nothing much to do... and tried to occupied my free time *hunting for easter eggs*. but think the busy period is commencing.. the pile of FORM Cs are piling and yesh.. the audited accounts is making their way into my IN-tray and yesh.. the interesting GST queries are coming in..
Two more years of tax.. and.. Yeah... :)
-----------------------------------------
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of needs
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I'll worship
And unto You I sing
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
but had a good time with kelly after singing for s1... sO happie for her.. her joy is overflowing.. :) yup.. you deserve the best!
hmmm Jia was pretty surprised that i was without any "portfolio" in choir.. she asked if I have the desire to rise up.. in choir... or is it cg... or both... oh well.. I just smiled at her.. oh well.. what could i tell her? that I'm in the midst of.. "spring-summer vacation", having the "time of my life"... matter of fact... I don't rule that out... just see how He leads...
Oh yesh.. i'd a nitemare this morning.. woke up at 545 and made a mad rush to cram the 80+ slides into my slumbering gray matter.. And I wrote in tongues again for the exam - Oh well.. I realised... this tax thing is not gonna be my bread and butter for life.. perhaps in this phase of life.. And Yippie, I finally get my life back and need not go for wed and sat class every week... conclusion.. this is not my cup of tea.. i prefer coffee.. *lame* anyway, the grades don't matter. I took the exam for the fun of it.. afterall no cert. (unless i sign up for the 9 months long course which lead to a cert and yesh.. one year off the Master in Taxation offered by UniSim... ) Oh eeeeeeeeeeeeek! I don't want...
Sigh.. if only i didn't "itchy-hand" and change my 1st choice from Architecture to Accountancy during the uni registration period then... too late now.. Oh well.. at least this still lead me to a rather well prospect easy life *these couple of weeks..I've nothing much to do... and tried to occupied my free time *hunting for easter eggs*. but think the busy period is commencing.. the pile of FORM Cs are piling and yesh.. the audited accounts is making their way into my IN-tray and yesh.. the interesting GST queries are coming in..
Two more years of tax.. and.. Yeah... :)
-----------------------------------------
You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in times of needs
You are the hope that leads me on
And brings me to my knees
For there I find You waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I'll worship
And unto You I sing
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to see Your face
For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we love You
And we worship You this day
Friday, 28 March 2008
wow..
my neighbour @ work (she sits next to me.. ) just shared with me that she'll be giving testimony during svc this weekend.. Wow.. :) and truly a wow testimony too.. [spiritual midget sitting next to spiritual giant...]
she challenged me to.. to the cause why she was sharing the testimony in respect to.. ..
she challenged me to.. to the cause why she was sharing the testimony in respect to.. ..
Thursday, 27 March 2008
speechless...
indeed.. princess might have lost her ability to speak.. the prolonged effects of "THAT". sigh... can she ever get out of this... it's a plague.. now she longed to be home in the big big mansion.. sigh.. not so soon..
does it really matter?
sigh .. hate this melancholic feeling...
does it really matter?
sigh .. hate this melancholic feeling...
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
the "wrestling"
it's a VERY different Easter weekend.. VERY different from the past few years... different cuz... Not a good sign... Met claire in the Ladies on Friday b4 svc... Hmmm.. i wonder did i made the WRONG decision?? Caught the drama productions both at expo and jw.. enjoyed both and heart was tugged by both.. and once again was reminded of the very thing that had been impressed in me since.. the very time i read the verses in the Bible.. yet the current situation is... ...
the princess tried wrestling with her Father but to no avail.. there is no shortcut apparently...
since sunday... there was a lag in princess' response to sms - actually nil response... except the very prompt response to eileen's and banana's - the rare occurrence. Response lag cuz she didn't have the answer... or rather.. her answers would disappoint... the straight forward reply to the last sms received would be.. "bad ..."
and yes.. princess still have a written exam this coming Saturday and she has not revised... and yes.. so deliberating on the friday thingy.. afterall.. it won't make much of a difference... be it present or absent.. as it has been since...
the princess tried wrestling with her Father but to no avail.. there is no shortcut apparently...
since sunday... there was a lag in princess' response to sms - actually nil response... except the very prompt response to eileen's and banana's - the rare occurrence. Response lag cuz she didn't have the answer... or rather.. her answers would disappoint... the straight forward reply to the last sms received would be.. "bad ..."
and yes.. princess still have a written exam this coming Saturday and she has not revised... and yes.. so deliberating on the friday thingy.. afterall.. it won't make much of a difference... be it present or absent.. as it has been since...
how to deal with stress.......
this from an email forwarded by the fellowship group in my previous firm - the sgx.. happening rite? now they have a rather active support group there..
---------------
(CHRISTIAN) WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS ...
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
---------------
(CHRISTIAN) WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS ...
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'
1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24.. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus.'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36 . Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.
'If God is for us, who can be against us?'
(Romans 8:31)
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
blue sky...
I like this song... first heard it when jy sent me quite some time ago... think was last year... beautiful song... :)
bad thing about email using web host like yahoo /hotmail.. due to the fact there is no send and receive function, once sent.. it's sent... oh well.. i hope i did not wrote in tongues last night....
Blue Sky
Written by: KC Gan
Vocals: Annabel Soh
In every heartbeat
Lies a dream of greatness
And deep inside us
Treasures unfold
Reaching for the stars that shines above
I wanna live my life for all its worth
Every sunrise
Dawns a new beginning
And when the night comes
A fire burns within
Everyday I live I wanna give
The very best of me
So let the dreams within
Come alive
Flying to the blue sky
Soaring high above
Every cloud every mountain
Is a new horizon
Flying to the blue sky
Reach for something more
And through it all
I will stand tall
I won't give up
I am stronger than before
I’ll cross the line
Leave my fears behind
Each step I take
I’ll reach for greater heights
For in the end
Destiny is in my hands
This is my chance
I’ll give the best I can
bad thing about email using web host like yahoo /hotmail.. due to the fact there is no send and receive function, once sent.. it's sent... oh well.. i hope i did not wrote in tongues last night....
Blue Sky
Written by: KC Gan
Vocals: Annabel Soh
In every heartbeat
Lies a dream of greatness
And deep inside us
Treasures unfold
Reaching for the stars that shines above
I wanna live my life for all its worth
Every sunrise
Dawns a new beginning
And when the night comes
A fire burns within
Everyday I live I wanna give
The very best of me
So let the dreams within
Come alive
Flying to the blue sky
Soaring high above
Every cloud every mountain
Is a new horizon
Flying to the blue sky
Reach for something more
And through it all
I will stand tall
I won't give up
I am stronger than before
I’ll cross the line
Leave my fears behind
Each step I take
I’ll reach for greater heights
For in the end
Destiny is in my hands
This is my chance
I’ll give the best I can
ひとりん
Yup.. that's the description that's rather fitting for now... Despite of what was said weeks ago... it remained as mere words.. yet the reality reveals that ... actions SPEAK louder than WORDS... the mere fact that nothing was done just add to the conclusion that I wish it was a misjudgement... is that too much to ask??
Monday, 10 March 2008
basic courtesy...
i believe in the basic courtesy of responding to calls, text messages and emails. If people bother to write you an email, a text message or you have missed a call.. , shouldn't they at least deserve an acknowledgment of the receipt of their correspondences.. (unless it's a call from private number and there is no way you could contact the unknown party.... )
Yet, I realised this might not be an reciprocal action... Especially when you expect at least a short reply from someone you expect to at least reply... .. You wonder, did they ignore your correspondences or have it been delivered?
Oh well.. bring back the courtesy campaign! Singa where are you?
Yet, I realised this might not be an reciprocal action... Especially when you expect at least a short reply from someone you expect to at least reply... .. You wonder, did they ignore your correspondences or have it been delivered?
Oh well.. bring back the courtesy campaign! Singa where are you?
perfections in the imperfect world...
this is ridiculous & not impossible for mankind to achieve...
Wondered why are the imperfections and glaring flaws so apparent to me and yet those who are "designated" to aid in closing the gaps ARE nonchalant or unaware about it. Or they choose to turn a blind eye about it? OR are they total unaware of it?? Yet, I don't have any say in it.. I can see and yet I can't act.. Isn't this frustrating.. Or simply put it.. they don't really care?
Sigh, they don't understand what is the "width" of their responsibilities as part of a "kazuku".. not referring to the innate one...
Could i still be the change agent still? Is it still up to me?
Wondered why are the imperfections and glaring flaws so apparent to me and yet those who are "designated" to aid in closing the gaps ARE nonchalant or unaware about it. Or they choose to turn a blind eye about it? OR are they total unaware of it?? Yet, I don't have any say in it.. I can see and yet I can't act.. Isn't this frustrating.. Or simply put it.. they don't really care?
Sigh, they don't understand what is the "width" of their responsibilities as part of a "kazuku".. not referring to the innate one...
Could i still be the change agent still? Is it still up to me?
the weekend....
it has been a long weekend...
happy things...
visited ming & her lovely princess sophie @ Mt A. on sat after singing for expo.. such a lovely princess... :) Met lisa & her bf there too...
the rest of the events ::
to summarise, saturday was much more enjoyable compared to sunday... esp the time frame from 1530 to 1700. Shall not elaborate.. not that it matters to anyone i suppose... maybe except to HIM.
Oh gee.. might as well try to acquire the supernatural ability to be "invisible".
happy things...
visited ming & her lovely princess sophie @ Mt A. on sat after singing for expo.. such a lovely princess... :) Met lisa & her bf there too...
the rest of the events ::
to summarise, saturday was much more enjoyable compared to sunday... esp the time frame from 1530 to 1700. Shall not elaborate.. not that it matters to anyone i suppose... maybe except to HIM.
Oh gee.. might as well try to acquire the supernatural ability to be "invisible".
Thursday, 6 March 2008
i wonder
once again.. I've splurged $34 on a ride to work again (the second time this week) sigh.. BAD way to utilizing cash... Wasn't in a mood to talk to cab uncle this morning cuz it was a wet and sleepy morning.. But uncle Johnny was an extremely chatty and lively uncle! And I remembered vaguely that there was once a cab ride that the cab uncle was telling me about his multi-language skills about how he knew many languages and even Tamil cuz he learn that to communicate with his Indian Indian workers and even thought some of the better ones Mandarin... Cuz he repeated the same story this morning... as a conversation starter.. AH I remembered... if my memory didn't fail me.. i believed it's the same cab uncle that fetches xj & on that dec morning for the xmas cg lunch @ marche...
Hmmmm strangely... i didn't talk much except to provide my ears for him to share (& occasionally talk a bit... ) and haha he said he enjoyed talking to me.. and haha even gave me his mobile no to ask me to call him for a chat if i feel bored? (oh btw cabbie uncle is 60+ and with three kids and one of his daughter l is with one of ex-firm that i was with for the longest period of time.. and he said that his daughter has been working there for a few years and high ranking one - wa.. maybe we were ex-colleagues? haha but I just provide the ear.. I didn't disclose much about myself except for my "unique" name..)
hmmm and the strange thing is that cab uncles are amazed that why "such a pretty gal not attached yet.." - *.*"
time to knock off... tata!
Hmmmm strangely... i didn't talk much except to provide my ears for him to share (& occasionally talk a bit... ) and haha he said he enjoyed talking to me.. and haha even gave me his mobile no to ask me to call him for a chat if i feel bored? (oh btw cabbie uncle is 60+ and with three kids and one of his daughter l is with one of ex-firm that i was with for the longest period of time.. and he said that his daughter has been working there for a few years and high ranking one - wa.. maybe we were ex-colleagues? haha but I just provide the ear.. I didn't disclose much about myself except for my "unique" name..)
hmmm and the strange thing is that cab uncles are amazed that why "such a pretty gal not attached yet.." - *.*"
time to knock off... tata!
when it is time to sleep... sleep...
Geez.. am wasting my time away... *
when it's time to sleep... it's time to sleep....*
Shall cease to be online after 1AM from today forth... *
Shall cultivate the good sleep habit once again ...* as the chinese saying goes"早睡早起身体好 !"
when it's time to sleep... it's time to sleep....*
Shall cease to be online after 1AM from today forth... *
Shall cultivate the good sleep habit once again ...* as the chinese saying goes"早睡早起身体好 !"
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
one tooth less...
Despite my limited knowledge on dentistry - well.. limited to what was covered in the GCE 'O' biology content.. i know that without the (unnecessary) wisdom teeth aka the 3rd molars.. I shouldhave 28 teeth.. and the the wisdom tooth should two root, not single root.. Was SURPRISED that the problematic tooth is single-rooted, and after the extraction.. I was left with 2 pre-molar, 1 molar on my right.. CONCLUSION:: the demised tooth is not my wisdom tooth.. so sad.. I'm left with only 27 teeth and yup.. no sign of the "wise" teeth..
hmmm .. the extraction was pretty painless .. the injection of the anaesthetic into my gum was about the most painful of the whole process.. and the whole process is over in less than 5 minutess and only 3 tug.. woo..
sad.. think i need to tighten on my already stringent dental habits.. wooo
hmmm .. the extraction was pretty painless .. the injection of the anaesthetic into my gum was about the most painful of the whole process.. and the whole process is over in less than 5 minutess and only 3 tug.. woo..
sad.. think i need to tighten on my already stringent dental habits.. wooo
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Am rather irritated by the scroll of application requests that have been accumulating.. from double digits to triple digits... just spent 15 minutes to drop it to a double digit...
Nah, not really hooked to the facebook applications.. except a couple which are life saver in lull periods at work... Still it's a great way to re-establish connections with your ex-sch mates that you've lost contact.. manged to link up with shu'en and joanne.. (my good friends in dhs).
Was scrolling thru' carol's friends when i chanced upon this familiar name - oh yesh, fellow eca (vnr) mate who was in my neighbouring class in tao nan... (ok.. now it's termed as cca, but my "era" was eca). However, I was not known as hermione then and my image has changed since my jc days (eeks look at my ic pic and you will know why.. ) Oh well.. his comment was "you look so different now!"
(haha.. i think i look like an おばさん! okie.. plus the fact that I've like additional mass too.. ) Oh well.. cuz I use a priceless facial product - "Hallelujah Cream". Muah haha.. Very complimented to see the SHOCK look of some of the young choir gals to learn that I'm not actually a couple of years fresh out of uni.. haha..
Can't blame him for not recognizing me.. it had been 10+ years.. now he's based in LA.. wa. envious.. we should have been classmates in nus.. if i have not chose acc over architecture.. oh well.. :) All things work for good for those who love Him!
It's 4am.. time to sleep... Gonna have one molar less later and it's the wisest of the molar family.. Oh yesh.. lame..
Nah, not really hooked to the facebook applications.. except a couple which are life saver in lull periods at work... Still it's a great way to re-establish connections with your ex-sch mates that you've lost contact.. manged to link up with shu'en and joanne.. (my good friends in dhs).
Was scrolling thru' carol's friends when i chanced upon this familiar name - oh yesh, fellow eca (vnr) mate who was in my neighbouring class in tao nan... (ok.. now it's termed as cca, but my "era" was eca). However, I was not known as hermione then and my image has changed since my jc days (eeks look at my ic pic and you will know why.. ) Oh well.. his comment was "you look so different now!"
(haha.. i think i look like an おばさん! okie.. plus the fact that I've like additional mass too.. ) Oh well.. cuz I use a priceless facial product - "Hallelujah Cream". Muah haha.. Very complimented to see the SHOCK look of some of the young choir gals to learn that I'm not actually a couple of years fresh out of uni.. haha..
Can't blame him for not recognizing me.. it had been 10+ years.. now he's based in LA.. wa. envious.. we should have been classmates in nus.. if i have not chose acc over architecture.. oh well.. :) All things work for good for those who love Him!
It's 4am.. time to sleep... Gonna have one molar less later and it's the wisest of the molar family.. Oh yesh.. lame..
the moive:: the leap years
Had not planned to catch this show today.. but received an sms from val this morning.. agreed cuz nothing much to do @ home anyway..
Was an evening that could best described by "roller-coaster"... still it was fun.. just the 4 of us :: weiye & his gf , val & i .. oh well.. it's an unlikely combi.. but still it was an enjoyable evening .. AND I finally get to meet miss i's kai! ( hehe... ) cuz bumped into them or rather they walked passed starbucks and saw us.. :)
the movie was not bad.. though i should say :: a bit predictable.. but i love the soundtracks.. cuz mostly corrinne may's songs.. :) perhaps the book would be better.. I like Catherine Lim's short stories during my sec sch years... And.. in midst of movie.. i came to realization some things..
---------
Sigh.. felt like type of "garang guni"... four years have gone and passed and still lingering ... Having ability to recollect in some instance may not be beneficial at all.. sigh.. especially if the stimulus has yet dissipate and unlikely for the near future.. Urgh..
the 'leap day' this leap year is kinda different too.. nah, i didn't did what Lee Ann in the movie did though it's certainly not for the faint hearted..
----------
happy for my dear friend whose date with her special someone went well.. :)
-----------
on a total different note :: bye bye wisdom tooth!!! going to extract the upper right 3rd molar later...
Was an evening that could best described by "roller-coaster"... still it was fun.. just the 4 of us :: weiye & his gf , val & i .. oh well.. it's an unlikely combi.. but still it was an enjoyable evening .. AND I finally get to meet miss i's kai! ( hehe... ) cuz bumped into them or rather they walked passed starbucks and saw us.. :)
the movie was not bad.. though i should say :: a bit predictable.. but i love the soundtracks.. cuz mostly corrinne may's songs.. :) perhaps the book would be better.. I like Catherine Lim's short stories during my sec sch years... And.. in midst of movie.. i came to realization some things..
---------
Sigh.. felt like type of "garang guni"... four years have gone and passed and still lingering ... Having ability to recollect in some instance may not be beneficial at all.. sigh.. especially if the stimulus has yet dissipate and unlikely for the near future.. Urgh..
the 'leap day' this leap year is kinda different too.. nah, i didn't did what Lee Ann in the movie did though it's certainly not for the faint hearted..
----------
happy for my dear friend whose date with her special someone went well.. :)
-----------
on a total different note :: bye bye wisdom tooth!!! going to extract the upper right 3rd molar later...
Sunday, 2 March 2008
I'll move on
Was listening to this song on my iPod on my way to work on Sat... brought to remembrance of a lot of things that once that kept me going... and the visions & dreams that have yet came to pass.... Holding back my tears in the mrt then...
Now.. I realised that that little episode yesterday was meant for preparation ground for things in the evening and yep.. today....
Now.. I realised that that little episode yesterday was meant for preparation ground for things in the evening and yep.. today....
I'll move on
- Olivia Ong (off the album" A Girl Meets Bossa Nova 2")
This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away
Can't seem to go on and I've been thru' this before
Now where am I? Where do I stand? A little lost here
But I'll remember all those times you've bought me thru'
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near
I'll move on I'll go on
Lord I will take your hand
And you will guide me along
Survive thru' this storm
So I say, come what may
I'll hold on to my hope
Yes, I will walk down this road
And my passion drive will lead me on
Here I am
Once again caught in the rain
Looking back I've come so far
And I want to carry on
Take a step a little time
It's alright
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again
Don't hold back now
And i've been thru' this before
Now where am I? Where do I stand? A little lost here.
But I'll remember
All those times you've bought me thru'
I can feel the sun shining down on me
Here I am, Here I am.
Lord I will take your hand
And you will guide me along
Survive thru' this storm
So I say, come what may
I'll hold on to my hope
Yes, I will walk down this road
And my passion drive will lead me on
the call again...
hmmm... expected something and did not expect that really came to pass... nope.. it's not pure emotions lo.. Just too shocked that it happened like almost instantly... again.. deja vu.. yep... that has always been in me... since. .. haha.. day 1?
As I was preparing for leaving service today (Yikes.. i overslept again and woke up @ 730am! cabbed again. but then it's only 5.40.. so.. not as bad as to JW) the carnal lamentation :: why u silly tweet volunteered yourself to serve all 4 services for past few weeks? so tiring... afterall aren't u supposed to be taking a breather?-- Instantly, there is this almost audible reply ' that it's in preparation for future.. full time.. almost in a twinkle of eye.. i sorta dismissed that (always think that it might be my wishful thinking only and that almost everyone will have the feeling too... )
almost want to stay for service for s3 too cuz wa... powerful presence lo.. (I realised tears can melt my MAC pigment on my eyelid... shocked to see a blue streak down my right cheek.. like some de-oxygentated vein.. eks! ) but can't..
was in for a surprise today.. during service @ s4 ... woo jieyin... saw u too... :) happily sitting with joelle rite? hehe.. so bright how can i miss u! ooo.. to mention.. the expo choir got the chance to snap a pix with the F.I.R guy during sound check.. privilege! And while waiting for bus to come to fetch us to jw after pnw, we saw Pastor Kong! hehe.. :) He was soo personal and wooo .. wa.. :)
back to s4.. was blown away by FIR's testimony.. :) but the best is yet to come..
oh well.. for those who know me better.. it has always been in me and me always to go bible school (not to be nun la.. but to be equipped in the Word...) and sca.. and ya.. i almost went in 2005 but withdrew at the 2nd interview cuz.. NO FAITH.. (and i thought everyone would think like me la... so think that maybe not called la.. juz my wishful thinking again... ) and even before the end of service... many flashbacks of the past came to play.. and yep.. the deja vu feeling again.. and (*still thinking that EVERYONE would respond and stood up, or still doubting that it's once again my wishful thinking... *) was surprised to see eh.. not many lo.. It was then I truly understand what He meant by "many are called, few are chosen"...
when it's time... it's time... so wait and be prepared.. (yep, i was a scout.. haha that's the motto -- be prepared...)
Still blessed that God has sent kei & kelly to minister to me on fri & sat respectively.. to prepare me for today... like what kel said.. everyone needs to rest and be recharged...
so.. enjoy the rest I'm getting now... when i've re-charged... it's time to fly...
As I was preparing for leaving service today (Yikes.. i overslept again and woke up @ 730am! cabbed again. but then it's only 5.40.. so.. not as bad as to JW) the carnal lamentation :: why u silly tweet volunteered yourself to serve all 4 services for past few weeks? so tiring... afterall aren't u supposed to be taking a breather?-- Instantly, there is this almost audible reply ' that it's in preparation for future.. full time.. almost in a twinkle of eye.. i sorta dismissed that (always think that it might be my wishful thinking only and that almost everyone will have the feeling too... )
almost want to stay for service for s3 too cuz wa... powerful presence lo.. (I realised tears can melt my MAC pigment on my eyelid... shocked to see a blue streak down my right cheek.. like some de-oxygentated vein.. eks! ) but can't..
was in for a surprise today.. during service @ s4 ... woo jieyin... saw u too... :) happily sitting with joelle rite? hehe.. so bright how can i miss u! ooo.. to mention.. the expo choir got the chance to snap a pix with the F.I.R guy during sound check.. privilege! And while waiting for bus to come to fetch us to jw after pnw, we saw Pastor Kong! hehe.. :) He was soo personal and wooo .. wa.. :)
back to s4.. was blown away by FIR's testimony.. :) but the best is yet to come..
oh well.. for those who know me better.. it has always been in me and me always to go bible school (not to be nun la.. but to be equipped in the Word...) and sca.. and ya.. i almost went in 2005 but withdrew at the 2nd interview cuz.. NO FAITH.. (and i thought everyone would think like me la... so think that maybe not called la.. juz my wishful thinking again... ) and even before the end of service... many flashbacks of the past came to play.. and yep.. the deja vu feeling again.. and (*still thinking that EVERYONE would respond and stood up, or still doubting that it's once again my wishful thinking... *) was surprised to see eh.. not many lo.. It was then I truly understand what He meant by "many are called, few are chosen"...
when it's time... it's time... so wait and be prepared.. (yep, i was a scout.. haha that's the motto -- be prepared...)
Still blessed that God has sent kei & kelly to minister to me on fri & sat respectively.. to prepare me for today... like what kel said.. everyone needs to rest and be recharged...
so.. enjoy the rest I'm getting now... when i've re-charged... it's time to fly...
blessed day...
it's been a long day... but i'm :).
had a great catch-up session with kel, and am blessed & ministered to by her.. she never fails to inspire me.. her positive outlook and her heart of gold.... her readiness to bless others... Thank you gal... her man is sure a blessed one... :)
had a great day today... continuing from my happy purchase from kel's site... [loved it... loved it... :)] Breakthru with heights.. i appluad myself for the balancing act with my platforms heels and jumping.. :) yeah! and made it home with two unblistered feet! +.+"
on a serious note... after kel's short & power prayer b4 s1 .. the sweet clear voice came audible again... seeing things greater than i can see... bring into rembrance of the things i was once passionate about... wa.. really wanna stay for s2 after singing lo.. cuz.. His Presence is sooooo real.. but had a wedding dinner to attend..
thanks to kel.. who so sweetly drove me to the hotel @ the expense of her appointment... and woo.. to visit sweet sophie @ her home cuz her owner is hospitalised.. wa.. sophie's such a sweetie.. (think ivory would melt when she sees her.. oh yes..sophie is a cat.. ) and she's soooo cute.. esp when she roll on her back wanting pple to sayang her.. >.< too bad never take picture.. haha...
wedding dinner... oh yes.. it was fun.. haha.. I guessed I'm closer to the vnr peeps than my own ct peeps ba.. haha.. it was hilarious with chee wah & zehui ard.. ya.. crappy but haha.. everyone's almost the same.. at least we look the same still.. hehe.. & i guessed it's the "gone-thru-thick-and-thin" spirit that despite years (a decade for some of us!) of not meeting up.. it's still like family ... and it's so sweet of zehui to offer me a ride back home.. cuz it's sorta along the way for him on the tpe route..(yay! cabfare saving..!) though the ride was a bit akward (hey never see him for 10 years lo.. ) think the safest topic to talk abt is haha his children.. haha.. wa can sense the excitement and pride in his tone...
hmmm really blessed today... cuz ya.. all things will work for good for those who love God.. man may not see but He sees.. cuz He's omnipotent.. omnipresence..
had a great catch-up session with kel, and am blessed & ministered to by her.. she never fails to inspire me.. her positive outlook and her heart of gold.... her readiness to bless others... Thank you gal... her man is sure a blessed one... :)
had a great day today... continuing from my happy purchase from kel's site... [loved it... loved it... :)] Breakthru with heights.. i appluad myself for the balancing act with my platforms heels and jumping.. :) yeah! and made it home with two unblistered feet! +.+"
on a serious note... after kel's short & power prayer b4 s1 .. the sweet clear voice came audible again... seeing things greater than i can see... bring into rembrance of the things i was once passionate about... wa.. really wanna stay for s2 after singing lo.. cuz.. His Presence is sooooo real.. but had a wedding dinner to attend..
thanks to kel.. who so sweetly drove me to the hotel @ the expense of her appointment... and woo.. to visit sweet sophie @ her home cuz her owner is hospitalised.. wa.. sophie's such a sweetie.. (think ivory would melt when she sees her.. oh yes..sophie is a cat.. ) and she's soooo cute.. esp when she roll on her back wanting pple to sayang her.. >.< too bad never take picture.. haha...
wedding dinner... oh yes.. it was fun.. haha.. I guessed I'm closer to the vnr peeps than my own ct peeps ba.. haha.. it was hilarious with chee wah & zehui ard.. ya.. crappy but haha.. everyone's almost the same.. at least we look the same still.. hehe.. & i guessed it's the "gone-thru-thick-and-thin" spirit that despite years (a decade for some of us!) of not meeting up.. it's still like family ... and it's so sweet of zehui to offer me a ride back home.. cuz it's sorta along the way for him on the tpe route..(yay! cabfare saving..!) though the ride was a bit akward (hey never see him for 10 years lo.. ) think the safest topic to talk abt is haha his children.. haha.. wa can sense the excitement and pride in his tone...
hmmm really blessed today... cuz ya.. all things will work for good for those who love God.. man may not see but He sees.. cuz He's omnipotent.. omnipresence..
Saturday, 1 March 2008
happy day!
my latest purchase from kel's site.. so cutesy rite? Can't wait to lay hands on it!!! chanced upon it while shopping for jolene's pressie... :)
he he.. so cutesy.. so yup.. it's going into my bags collection.. wooo wooo...
red grapes green grapes... fermented grapes
Grapes.. (incidentally seemed to be the official cg refreshment since joyce started the trend) the main ingredient to wine.. red wine, white wine.. oh yes.. i like grapes.. especially the japanese big and succulent kind.. new grapes = X = new wine ... and while you can pour new wine into old bottle, you can't pour new wine into old wineskin.. maybe being a glass bottle is easier?
---------------------- digress ------------------------
did a retail therapy during lunch time cuz the good old thought machine nearly broke down.. or in fact did.. cuz ... oh well.. retail therapy is well .. in a way, boosting the economy while boosting own happiness quotient.. Bad choice of venue to conduct this alternative medication for the afflicted.. vivocity... oh well.. it's good for the retail industry, bad for the investor.. my happy medicine.. a pair of earrings & a hairband @ Tangs.. - not that satisfying.. and my big big cotton twill tote from Gap
(that really made my day cuz i caught sight of it in the showcase and with the sweet talk from the sale personnel.. oh well.. that sealed the deal.. ) gee.. overspending lo.. but gotta pamper myself right...
-------------------------------------------------------
nearly did not make it tonight again ... if kei didn't msn me this evening.. i might have contemplated with not going cuz i've got a bad headache (which i still do when i reached home.. but after popping the paracetamol & the anti-nausea medi.. it's sorta better...) hmmm gal, thanks for spending your time trying to 开导我... really appreciate it.. thanks for your listening ear...
happy to see june tonite.. else.. it would be... ahem.. sad.. cuz all the other "pillars of my comfort" aren't ard..
it was a pm tonite.. and yes.. said what oughta be public info and the pte info is known to those who need to know.. still peilong.. thanks...
vory.. happy to see u at the platform earlier.. clarification: sigh.. it's not that I'm crazy to sing s1 to s4.. but oh well.. those who could avail don't know how to take ownership, how? And yesh.. despite they arrive half an hour b4 svc commence.. still could help one (even though if not on duty but with valid ground).. question is : whether are they willing... oh well.. let them answer for themselves.. meanwhile... i be the toothpick..
somehow.. i wonder if tonight was sorta triggered by whatever i'd wrote to.. maybe.. anyhow.. new wine cannot be poured into old wineskin right? can someone delete the word "try" in the dictionary..
ugh.. i almost forgot it was gp's wedding dinner tmw! I thought it was on sunday! oh well busy day tmw.. it's my work week tmw.. so ... work.. fly to jw..bus down to expo..mrted to outram (the dinner's at Furama hotel) straight after expo (urgh Hall 1 is so far away from expo.. perhaps i should take a bus to Bedok instead..) actually i need not do this.. but i want to...
oooh.. sweet scent of strawberry ooozzing.. from the strawberry candle.. :) happy...
in summary it's sorta happy day today :: cuz God hear my little nonsensical prayer that led to the short and hopefully fruitful msn conversation.. new addition to my growing bag collection.. my dear friends.. and the trigger of new grape juice... fermenting...
---------------------- digress ------------------------
did a retail therapy during lunch time cuz the good old thought machine nearly broke down.. or in fact did.. cuz ... oh well.. retail therapy is well .. in a way, boosting the economy while boosting own happiness quotient.. Bad choice of venue to conduct this alternative medication for the afflicted.. vivocity... oh well.. it's good for the retail industry, bad for the investor.. my happy medicine.. a pair of earrings & a hairband @ Tangs.. - not that satisfying.. and my big big cotton twill tote from Gap
(that really made my day cuz i caught sight of it in the showcase and with the sweet talk from the sale personnel.. oh well.. that sealed the deal.. ) gee.. overspending lo.. but gotta pamper myself right...-------------------------------------------------------
nearly did not make it tonight again ... if kei didn't msn me this evening.. i might have contemplated with not going cuz i've got a bad headache (which i still do when i reached home.. but after popping the paracetamol & the anti-nausea medi.. it's sorta better...) hmmm gal, thanks for spending your time trying to 开导我... really appreciate it.. thanks for your listening ear...
happy to see june tonite.. else.. it would be... ahem.. sad.. cuz all the other "pillars of my comfort" aren't ard..
it was a pm tonite.. and yes.. said what oughta be public info and the pte info is known to those who need to know.. still peilong.. thanks...
vory.. happy to see u at the platform earlier.. clarification: sigh.. it's not that I'm crazy to sing s1 to s4.. but oh well.. those who could avail don't know how to take ownership, how? And yesh.. despite they arrive half an hour b4 svc commence.. still could help one (even though if not on duty but with valid ground).. question is : whether are they willing... oh well.. let them answer for themselves.. meanwhile... i be the toothpick..
somehow.. i wonder if tonight was sorta triggered by whatever i'd wrote to.. maybe.. anyhow.. new wine cannot be poured into old wineskin right? can someone delete the word "try" in the dictionary..
ugh.. i almost forgot it was gp's wedding dinner tmw! I thought it was on sunday! oh well busy day tmw.. it's my work week tmw.. so ... work.. fly to jw..bus down to expo..mrted to outram (the dinner's at Furama hotel) straight after expo (urgh Hall 1 is so far away from expo.. perhaps i should take a bus to Bedok instead..) actually i need not do this.. but i want to...
oooh.. sweet scent of strawberry ooozzing.. from the strawberry candle.. :) happy...
in summary it's sorta happy day today :: cuz God hear my little nonsensical prayer that led to the short and hopefully fruitful msn conversation.. new addition to my growing bag collection.. my dear friends.. and the trigger of new grape juice... fermenting...
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