break..

Have you come to a point that you just wanna let out a scream in midst of working... that actually came across my mind a couple of times (ok.. more than that...) since last week..

Imagine the work keeping piling.. and yet there is not just one portfolio that I need to take care of..multi-tasking was what i'd been doing... difficult to focus... not just results, need to take care of the "human factor" ~ handling the different personality in my team...and expectations has risen much higher.. would love to OT last Wed/ thurs & Fri to clear the mountain..bUt couldn't cuz BS's on wed.. cg on thurs.. and fri.. i need to spend time with mom (else ... would lead to unnecessary po). Gee.. and i thought I thrive under stress.. (well.. i relish the time spent at mugging for tests and exams during my schooldays... really i do... at least once the exams are over.. you're guaranteed of holidays..)

was really envious when i saw the 'notification' email that one of my teammate sent informing that he's taking VL the next day (ya, applied & informed via email the very last min.. ) I would love to take a day leave too.. but I can't.. cUz I can't afford to...

Come to think of it.. i haven't take block leave for a long time.. (my VLs have been accumulating... from last year..) really felt like taking one week leave to hibernate... i guess the deprivation of beauty sleep is taking effect... however.. my pileup (accumulation of work.. turning backlog to my standard & they can't afford to accumulate cuz there's deadline..).. the genuine backlog cases that I'm supposed to help to look at.. and the monitoring & coaching that i'm expected to give ~ to my officers that are all more senior than me.. in terms of experience and age..as the chinese saying goes.. they have eaten more grains of salt than the grains of rice that I've eaten in my lifetime...) and room for error (& tolerance rate) had greatly reduced...

Was reminded of what my dear Creator has spoken to me thru' my cgl during the ministry time during cg last week... that gave me strength & assurance to face what was in my path.. Indeed I may not seemed like the perfect choice to be doing what I'm doing (in my personal opinion.. maybe to some others as well.. ).. but that would be looking thru' my tainted glasses of.. not God's. Indeed I'm overwhelmed by what was required of me (both workwise & spiritually..), but the breakthrough is within my reach.. the decision lies with me.. if i want it.. I can have it...

during bs with xinlian this evening.. out of a sudden this phrase flash across my mind.."In my weakness, He's made perfect." Indeed, He can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary..

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'And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.' ~ 2 Cor 12:9